My friends and I used to play

a game in high school. We would see who could come up with the most creative

acronyms for our names' initials. For example, my friend Glen Lacy Browder

changed his initials G.L.B. to "Good Looking Boy."

In the same vein, I went from

William Allan Murphy to "What A Man!" Our friend David Oliver

Anderson dropped out of the game early, as did Sherman Ormond Bishop.

Such games long dormant, I

have found another use for my initials, offered here in this Dr. Seuss

rip-off concerning the condition of our local politics.

I am WAM, I am.

WAM, WAM I am.

Do I appreciate our local ham?

Those who govern us, ad nauseam?

I do not appreciate them.

WAM I am.

Do I like them here or there?

I do not like them here or

there.

They fuss and fight everywhere.

They fuss on the page,

They fuss with rage.

I do not appreciate them.

WAM I am.

Why can't they be sweet like

a candy yam?

They fight in the car.

They fight from afar.

They scream all day.

They scream away.

Would I put them in a chair?

Yes I would, with a bear.

I would plop them on his lap.

Tie them down with a strap.

They make the paper every day.

They never have a thing to

say.

They only cut and fight each

other.

They just gripe with one another.

Would I put them in a Villa?

Yes I would, with Godzilla.

They could be his dinner steak,

But he might get a bellyache.

Do I appreciate our local ham?

I do not. WAM I am.

Would I, could I, on a bus?

It would just turn slanderous.

Would I, could I, on a boat?

Would I need an antidote?

Our local reign I must confess

Seem to be comfortless.

The names do change but still

they fight.

And do they ever, day and night!

Do I appreciate our local ham?

I do not. WAM I am.

Do they need the loony bin?

Yes, and I need aspirin.

Do they all need indictment?

It would give such excitement!

Do I like our local ham?

Yes I do. WAM I am.

They are just a fun diversion,

A quick study in self-immersion.

Do I like our local ham?

Yes I do. WAM I am.

For when I watch their activity,

It reminds me how NOT to be.

[Visit Billy Murphy on the

Internet at www.ebilly.net.]