Once in a while,

I'll do something so stupid that I even surprise myself.

Last week,

for example, I was in Ambridge, Penn., taking a doctoral course at Trinity

Episcopal School for Ministry. I had intended to rent a car when I arrived

on Sunday evening but, since it's winter in Pennsylvania, it was bitterly

cold and snowing.

My host, with

whom I would spend the week, offered to pick me up at the Pittsburgh airport

and transport me the 20-30 miles to Ambridge. Being an intelligent guy,

I agreed that a Southerner would better off not driving in the snow in

Pittsburgh. However, by Friday, the snow was gone and the temperature

had risen into the 40s and 50s.

It had not

been a piece of cake, this week just past. Dr. Karen Maticich, who has

her Ph.D. from Cambridge, which is across the Big Water where they still

speak true English, had been our professor for Biblical Interpretation.

Do you know

how intimidating it is when a Bible professor reads to you a passage from

the Old Testament? In Hebrew? She can also read quite fluently from the

New Testament. In Greek.

I'm still trying

to learn how to understand Yankees. And Californians.

Anyway, I learned

so much that week it made my head hurt. Did you know, for example, that

there are at least eight different kinds of Psalms? There are laments,

praises, Psalms of Ascent (which were sung during the feasts of Passover,

Pentecost, and Tabernacles), Songs of Zion, Enthronement Songs, Royal

Songs, Wisdom Songs, and Hallel Songs (Psalms 113-118). And there are

two kinds of laments, the individual and the communal, and, if that werenít

enough, two kinds of praise songs, declarative and descriptive. And, did

you know that Psalm 30 is a "mizmor," or a song intended for

musical instruments? We learned all that in a couple of hours one afternoon

and then moved on to other things.

So, by Friday,

with class over and the snow gone, I was feeling pretty good and incredibly

learned. With the prospect of a nice weekend on the horizon, it was time

to rent that car. I made arrangements by phone with the Dollar Car Rental

place in the Pittsburgh airport to secure a vehicle for a week.

Dr. "Laurie"

Thompson, the Dean of the Doctor of Ministry program, was kind enough

to give me a lift to the airport so I could pay for and pick up the car.

We had a wonderful chat and, after arriving at our destination, he let

me out and I went inside to the Dollar car place.

All went well

as I gave the guy behind the counter my Georgia driver's license and my

American Express card, which I never leave home without. After a few furrowed

brows and a clicking furiously at the keyboard, the car guy looked up,

handed my AMEX card and license back and said, "I can't rent you

a car."

"What?"

I asked.

"I can't

rent you a car," he repeated.

"Why the

heck not?"

"Because

your driver's license expires next Tuesday and you've asked for a car

through Friday. I can't rent you the car because your driver's license

will be invalid. Happy Birthday next Tuesday."

I snatched

the license up and, sure as shootin', I had a birthday next Tuesday. Duh.

"Can you rent me a car through Monday evening?" I asked.

"Nope.

You're already in the system as an expired license now. The computer won't

let me remove you."

So here I am,

in the Pittsburgh airport, my ride having already left, with no cheap

way to get