There is no

question, at this point, in most people's minds about the level of John

Walker's involvement in the fighting in Afghanistan. In short, a 20-year-old

American fought against Americans and at the side of those who perpetrated

the murder of more than 3,000 Americans. Now a nation is wondering how

he got there and what to do with him.

It's no surprise

that the reaction from his parents has been of particular interest to

the news media and many of its readers and viewers. Their shock and grief

is, to some extent, understandable, and I've been a parent long enough

to know that it's instinctive to defend and support your children initially,

no matter what they've done. We've all seen dozens of mothers of convicted

felons do exactly that.

So while young

Walker's mother talks of him being "brainwashed" and his father

longs to "give him a big hug and then a little kick in the butt,"

it would do us all good to consider how their direct influence on his

development might have contributed to the finished product that staggered

out of that Afghan prison.

He spent his

early years in Marin County, which Newsweek called "a bastion of

moral relativism where divorces were for a time listed alongside marriages

in the newspaper."

Apparently

John's father was a Catholic and his mother a Buddhist. From that bizarre

mix, they chose to let John find his own path, such as sending him to

an elite alternative high school where students were allowed to shape

their own studies and had to check in with their teacher only once a week.

According to

news accounts of his life, as a teenager he went from surfing the Internet

in search of particulary vile rap and hip-hop "music" to a more

intense search that fueled his interest in Islam. He found something there

he didn't get at home the kind of discipline and structure most young

people want in their lives and prefer to get from their parents, even

if they don't admit it.

Meanwhile,

Frank and Marilyn sat back and tried not to be "judgmental"

of their son's choices. So much so, in fact, that they allowed him to

take off for the Middle East while still a teenager with nary a clue about

what he was getting himself into. From there, the trail is littered with

money sent to a son they rarely saw, in mostly undisclosed locations,

and now a possible traitor in the family to show for it.

"Judgmental"?

Sorry, Mom and Dad, but it's part of the job description. Do you make

"judgments" about whether to let your young person touch a hot

stove or cross a busy highway?

Well, they're

being consistent. Frank Walker has hit the talk-show circuit, saying that

he still will not be "judgmental" of his son and is not sure

he has done anything wrong. Hey, Frank, talk to the widow of Johnny "Mike"

Spann, who died at the hands of your son's cohorts.

After relaying

his concern about his son's attitude toward the bombing of the U.S.S.

Cole, Frank Walker said, "But my days of molding him were over."

No, those days never started. You wanted him to find his own way, remember?

We live in

a magnificant country that lets every one of us practice whatever faith

we see fit, so long as it does not infringe upon the rights of another.

Sadly, we're also raising a generation of people raised in the "cafeterian"

faith, letting them try whatever's on the menu, regardless of what Mom

and Dad think. We don't want to be too restrictive, you know.

No logical

person can argue that such an approach makes sense. By its very nature,

faith is about believing in some that is much greater that yourself and

will be here long your body is placed in the ground. Nearly everyone who

is not an atheist is thinking about where he or she will be after this

life.

Whatever your

beliefs are in this regard, this life is so short and the time to follow

so long that they should be of utmost importance to you. And if you love

your children as most parents do, you would do everything in your power

to expose them to what you believe is the absolute truth about it.

I have a three-year-old

son. While I struggle over such decisions as his formal education and

other influences that will shape his character, I cannot lose sight of

the fact that he has a soul, and that soul will never die . Pointing

him toward what I believe is the truth regarding his eternal soul is the

most important thing I will ever do on this earth.

People who

put more effort into helping their children find lunch at McDonald's than

helping them find God run the risk of producing a John Walker. Then, all

they can do is sit in front of a reporter and wonder what happened.

[Monroe Roark

can be reached at [email protected] .]