Ahhh, the holidays.

A time when families get together for dinners and parties and end up in

front of the television.

Each year the

same movies and programs return like old friends that talk about the same

topics every time you run into them. In fact, so many of the Christmas

movies have the same themes that in the end they blend together. What

the world needs now, more than love, sweet love, is sequels to these classic

holiday programs.

Coming next

Christmas, "It's a Wonderful Life, Too." Carrot Top plays a

comedian who thinks the world would be better off without him. John Stamos

plays a cool angel trying to get his wings and meet Elvis in heaven. Stamos

takes Carrot Top around the world, showing the colorful comedian/pitch

man what the world would be like without him. It is a peaceful world and

18 times less annoying than it is today. Carrot Top decides he wants to

live and goes on entertaining drunk college students and making horrible

commercials.

Of course there

will also be "Another Christmas Carol," starring Jack Palance

as the now-insanely-happy Ebenezer Scrooge. Ever since the first film,

Scrooge has lived his life to the fullest. He dances around gaily, giving

away his wealth. This film picks up in July with Scrooge nearly penniless,

yet still asking the local boys about the cost of geese in the butcher's

window.

The three ghosts

return to show what will happen to Scrooge if he doesn't change his ways.

Scrooge tempers himself, saves some cash and takes a Hawaiian vacation.

In Hawaii, Scrooge finds a cursed tiki idol and nearly drowns while learning

to surf. Luckily, Tiny Tim Cratchett is there to pull the old miser to

shore.

Other sequels

to popular holiday programming heading your way in the future are "Ice

Cold," a buddy cop movie starring Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph

the Red Nosed Reindeer taking on a sadistic Jack Frost, and "The

Green Grinch Project," a pseudo documentary about three college filmmakers

searching for Whoville and the green beastie.

As for new

holiday specials, "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't, But Was"

is sure to be entertaining. Angela Lansbury and Screech from "Saved

holiday with his plans for making the holiday a work day. Another promising

holiday film will be "I Married Santa," where Santa Claus, after

an amicable separation from Mrs. Claus, meets Vicky, a sexy young coed.

Vicky ends up saving Christmas when she helps Santa stop some renegade

elves from sabotaging the holiday.

These programs

won't air until some time in the future, but just imagining them this

year gets me in the Christmas spirit.

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