There is something out there that's affecting most of

us in this county. It's not in the air we breathe, in the water we drink,

or even in the food we eat. When we go to sleep at night, it's in our

very homes and it's there when we wake up in the morning.

It makes women tired, not be able to sleep at night,

forget just about everything, and talk in a language undecipherable to

adults. But even though it has this strange effect on them, they don't

seem to mind. Most actually want to catch it. (This is in and of itself

strange and inexplicable.)

Do not breathe a sigh of relief; the men in this county

are not immune to this new phenomena for we too are affected. I have seen

it reduce the most educated and brightest men to babbling idiots overnight.

I have seen the strongest man brought to his knees crying in area hospitals

due to its incurable effects.

Yes, it acts extremely quickly, and its effects on men

and women last a lifetime. It does not matter what nationality you are,

whether you are young or old, rich or poor, its affects on everyone are

the same.

What could be spreading across this land quicker than

a duck on a June bug? New babyitis has come to town and it's here to stay.

Most people say that family is a word...some of the people

that I work with would call it a sentence. Me? I thing it's the greatest

thing since peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

Before we got married, I asked my wife if she wanted

to have children. I asked her when she turned 60 and looked back over

her life would she regret not having any?

Her answer surprised me, as most do, and was thought

provoking, as most are. She said that by looking back one can not be looking

forward. She went on to say that it would not be the fact that she did

not have children that she would regret, but rather she would feel that

she missed out on really special experience. But does she really know

what she's getting into?

A friend of mine will catch new babyitis within the next

two weeks. This will the first baby for his wife and him. He told me that

he was not sure about all of the things one has to do to be a good Dad.

He knows that I had a 14-year-old at home so I must be an expert. (Little

does this one know!)

I did not have the heart to tell him that teenagers have

the innate ability to make one reconsider having children. I now know

why children start off so cute and cuddly in the first five years of life.

It's so parents will fall in love with them and not give them away when

they get to be teenagers.

It seems the older I get, the dumber I get. Just ask

my son. How could I go from knowing everything about all things just a

few short years ago to knowing nothing about anything now?

My wife says that it's just a phase that he's going through,

things will get better and just be patient. I asked her how long will

this phase last. She said until he is no longer a teenager. I told her

that I now know why the mommy bird kicks the baby bird out of the nest.

My friend said he and his wife could not wait to have

the baby and that when it came they could finally get some rest. He said

he's been up the last week with his wife being sick, and he keeps falling

asleep at traffic lights. He asked me how long after the birth of my son

was I able not to worry about things, get a good night's sleep, and not

feel so tired? I told him that I would have to get