Sometimes this job is just

too easy.

Like when the national Democratic

Party sends me, a conservative columnist, its "issues survey."

I logged onto the party's Web

site some time ago, just as I did the Republican Party's site, and asked

to be kept abreast of its activities. I'm not a member of either party,

though it's no secret I vote Republican probably 85 or 90 percent of the

time. But I like to keep up with what both parties are up to.

Anyway, I suppose my visit

to the Democrats' site is why I got the survey in the mail.

I thought it might be fun to

fill it out and send it in, just to see if they would notice that one

of their surveys had fallen into the wrong hands.

And fill it out I did, but

now I realize I can't send it in, because it's styled as a letter to party

Chairman Terry McAuliffe, and it reads like this: "To Terry McAuliffe:

We need a strong Democratic Party to stop the Bush agenda and restore

the values of opportunity, compassion and personal security to our government.

To win the Democratic victories American needs, I have ..."

At this point, you get to check

a box for: "Completed my issues survey and am returning it to you

in the envelope you have provided. Please share my viewpoints with our

Democratic leaders," and/or a box for: "Enclosed a contribution

to help the Democratic National Committee prepare for the 2002 elections

and restore Democratic control of Congress."

There's no point in sending

it in with the opening statement crossed out. It would just get trashed

anyway.

Here's the thing, though. I

can't figure out what the point is. Why survey your own supporters with

loaded questions about issues you already know their feelings on? What's

the point of being able to say, "We surveyed the people who sent

us money, and they agreed with our positions"?

Actually, though, loaded questions

to a handpicked pool of respondents is pretty much what you would expect

from Democrats.

Perhaps they're going to release

the results as if they were some sort of objective cross section of American

opinion. It wouldn't surprise me a bit to receive a press release reading:

"Ninty-nine out of 100 Americans responding to a recent survey believe

our gun safety laws are not strict enough."

Which brings me to my point.

We need to take surveys and opinion polls with a healthy dose of skepticism.

For example, here are a couple of the questions on this "survey."

"Do you support or

oppose President Bush's proposal to make deep cuts in funding for the

enforcement of environmental laws?" Sounds objective enough,

but the answers might be different if the question were worded this way:

"Do you support or oppose President Bush's proposal to reduce the

number of bureaucrats harassing business people over obscure and meaningless

regulations?"

And it may well be that President

Bush hasn't proposed any cuts in funding for the enforcement of environmental

laws, but has merely proposed not increasing that funding as rapidly as

Democrats would like, something they always refer to as "deep cuts."

"Which three of the

following issues are most important to you personally?" I won't

repeat the list it's pretty much what you would expect. But I will point

out that reducing the burden of government on the individual and increasing

individual freedom are not on it.

Obviously, the survey is merely

fancy packaging for a request for contributions, but I don't expect the

party will get many of the surveys back. On the first page are instructions

for folding and mailing: "1. Fold in half. 2. Fold again. Enclose

survey with your contribution in the envelope provided and MAIL TODAY."

Yes, yes, I know, those are

fairly simple instructions. But then, they're not nearly as simple as

the instructions on a Florida ballot, and Democrats apparently can't figure

THOSE out. ...