We, as Americans,

know too much.

Impossible,

you say? How much money did Alex Rodriguez sign with the Texas Rangers

for? How much money does Julia Roberts get paid per film? Name two celebrities

who have recently checked into rehab for alcoholism. The answers, in order,

are $252 million, $20 million per picture, and Ben Affleck and A.J. from

the Backstreet Boys.

I would bet

that the majority of people in this country could answer most of those

questions. Today, those answers qualify as news. They are reported on

in newspapers, on radio and television and on the Internet. You can't

escape hearing or reading about these types of things. For instance, in

the wake of the Chandra Levy case, I found out Gary Condit pays $70 for

a haircut and travels from Modesto to San Francisco to get it. You don't

say? You would think I heard this where I get my haircut, but no, it was

on a fairly reputable news Web site. Where people get their hair cut is

news?

No.

Where people

in the news, in the public eye, get their hair cut is news. Where you

get your hair cut doesn't matter. It could be Wal-Mart or the Beauty Academy

for all anybody cares. The more of a celebrity you are, the more newsworthy

it becomes. Every day, Atlantans can learn where Elton John or Jane Fonda

has been eating. I don't know why people would care if Elton John ate

a bacon double cheeseburger, but they do. They must. If people didn't

care, it wouldn't make the Peach Buzz as often as it does.

Sadly, we eat

all of this gossip up and regurgitate it to everybody we talk to. Did

you hear that they want Katie Couric to replace Rosie O'Donnell when her

contract expires? I hear Russell Crowe broke up Meg Ryan's marriage to

Dennis Quaid. They say Mariah Carey was suffering from exhaustion, but

I heard it was a suicide attempt. We talk about these people like they

live down the street and missed the church picnic last weekend.

Now, try to

get some of the people you have empty conversations with to discuss what

is going on in the Middle East. Do you think they could share a valid

opinion on stem cell research? Some people would look like a deer caught

in headlights if you asked them what they thought about faith-based initiatives,

but they can do real well when they watch "Millionaire" at home,

at least for the first five questions.

I realize that

you can't just know about world events and politics and I also know how

hard it is to escape the "news" about celebrities. There is

not a clear cut answer on how to balance between these two sides of the

spectrum, other than stepping back and listening to yourself once in awhile.

How long did you discuss Monica Kaufman's new hairstyle the other day?

If you can't remember how long that conversation went on or if the person

you discussed it with still won't talk to you, there may be a problem.

I realize what

I am about to say next is radical and I may not be prepared to practice

what I am about to preach, but, shut things off. You probably don't need

to watch "Access Hollywood" and "Entertainment Tonight."

You could choose just one and learn the same things. Late night talk shows

are only good for the first 10-15 minutes; after that a celebrity comes

on and plugs his or her newest movie, TV show or Christmas album. Get

a better night's sleep and shut off Dave after the top ten list.

I also recommend

talking about yourself and your feelings and your day. It has to be more

interesting than the salary for Julia Roberts' next movie. Heck, it's

probably more interesting than the movie itself, because it happened to

you. You were there. You experienced all the things that happened and

you can share them with people, with that authentic, hands-on, first person

experience.

Also, ask people

about themselves. People love to talk about themselves, once they know

that you are a captive audience and are going to listen. It's OK if you

have nothing to say, too. Interpersonal communication, or the lack of

it, just might save the world. At the very least it will save my sanity

and the sanity of others.

Oh, and speaking

of Monica Kaufman, where do you think she gets her hair done anyway? How

much do you think it costs? Are the stylists just mean or are they blind?

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