Many Christians

experience what psychology calls the approach-avoidance conflict. In this

situation, the individual is both attracted and repelled by the same goal.

The same goal has qualities that make the individual want to approach

it and other qualities that make him want to avoid it. The timid man who

wishes to propose to his girl friend fears rejection (the quality he wishes

to avoid) and hopes for acceptance (the quality he wishes to approach).

Hence he is in conflict about a single goal. If you are tempted to eat

a certain food but know from experience that it gives you indigestion,

you experience an approach-avoidance conflict. The conflict looks like

this: as the individual nears the goal, the strength of avoidance increases

more rapidly than that of approach, pushing him from the goal.

A whole gaggle

of men flock to a Promise Keepers stadium event. There, with all the spiritual

testosterone coursing through the hearts and minds of the men, they sing

to the top of their lungs; they shout as they shout at football games;

they yell out "hallelujah" and "praise the Lord;"

they lift their hands in worship (something they would not be caught dead

doing at their sedate home church); they cry; they embrace one another.

The goal of becoming a "man of God" becomes so attractive that

they just can't avoid it.

Yes, they hear

Coach talk about the changes, the repentance, the time with their children

and their wives. They hear speaker after speaker exhort them to be men

of integrity, laying off the porn, and reading the Bible. Oh, it's so

appealing, so attractive. So, the men, by the thousands as in a herd mentality

(and they talk about teenagers and their herd mentality) make promises

to be faithful to God, family, church, and self.

This whole

scenario happens every Sunday in church houses all over the world. Through

the choirs, the worship, the drama, and the powerfully spoken word, men,

women, and youth make decisions to approach Christ, to live Christ-like

lives, to live for God, to live pure and chaste lives. It seems in the

environment of the church, the approach is so very attractive.

But then we

go home. And it goes something like this: "I made the commitment

to spend more time with my wife. But as I look at her with all her warts,

I don't know if I want to spend any more time with her than I have to.

I said I would not look at any more porn on the Internet, but life is

so dull, my sex life is non-existent, why not? After all, I am an adult.

I know it won't get a hold of me. No way will I end up addicted to the

stuff.

"I know

Coach taught us the importance of the local church and how I needed to

support my pastor. As I think about that kind of thing, that would mean

I would pray for him, listen to sermons, give him encouragement, and be

in church every Sunday. What's in it for me, as I think about it."

This is the

problem that Christ has with us mere mortals: approach and avoidance.

We say we want to live for the Lord, but as we get close to where the

water hits the wheel, we are not so sure. So, we vacillate or we capitulate.

However, the good news is that many do neither, but perpetuate their commitment

regardless how tough the way, how difficult the task.

Remember what

Jesus says: "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself,

take up his cross, and follow me." Does that sound like a lot of

contemporary religion to you?

The Rev. Dr. John Hatcher is pastor

of River's Edge

Community Church in Fayetteville.

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