Members of the Continental

Congress gathered in Philadelphia over 225 summers ago and signed the

Declaration of Independence. The document was authored by Thomas Jefferson

and includes this famous quote:

"We hold

these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that

they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that

among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

Then everybody

started piping up about stuff to add.

"I think

it would be funny if you wrote, 'All men are created equal, but some are

more equal than others.'"

Jefferson growled,

"You would think that was funny, Hancock. You practically used all

of the ink for your bloody name."

"Make

sure we get the right to bear arms in there. For that is an unalienable

right and putting a cap in a Redcoat is necessary in my pursuit to happiness,"

said Aaron Burr, who was just tagging along at the Continental Congress.

"Those

types of things don't go in a Declaration of Independence," Jefferson

said scowling. He was awfully tired, having spent months on the document.

"This document is telling England why we're declaring ourselves a

separate nation."

"Because

we hate tea and their ales are lousy," said Samuel Adams.

"Because

we hate powdered wigs," said John Adams. "Sorry, George, but

they are kind of ugly."

"No, no,

no!" Jefferson was growing angrier by the second. "We say stuff

like, 'Because you quartered your soldiers on our land and then did not

hold them accountable for crimes they committed. Because you tax us and

we have no say on it whatsoever. Those kinds of things.'"

"Because

you make fun of people named Button," said Button Gwinnett, one of

Georgia's representatives at the Continental Congress.

"That's

not a good reason, Button."

"Well,

it makes me very angry. Especially when they speak in those hoity-toity

British accents. They say things like 'Cheerio, Button. Tally-ho, Sir

Button.' I hate it."

"Do you

think we should narrow this to England. What about if aliens attack us?

I think we need a plan for an alien invasion as well," said William

Whipple of New Hampshire. Whipple owned a country store in Dover and was

constantly reminding people not to squeeze the outhouse paper.

"Please,"

Jefferson pleaded. "We must take this seriously. Every generation

that follows us will look to this document as the first step this nation

took toward greatness."

Ben Franklin

stood up and cleared his throat. He polished his bifocals on his handkerchief

and placed them back on.

"Whoever

thinks this document is fine like it is and thinks we should start talking

about celebrating our independence, say aye."

The group responded

with a resounding "Aye." Franklin did not offer a "Nay"

vote.

"I think

we should have fireworks," yelled Franklin as the drone of the group

grew louder and more excited. "Explosions are exciting and they really

draw groups of people together."

"We should

also have a plethora of refreshments available."

"Enough,

Adams. We know you like ale. We get it," snarled Jefferson. "There

will be plenty of time to celebrate this day after we bring it to our

colonies to ratify and after we fight the war."

A stunned noise

echoed throughout the hall.

"A war?"

asked Arthur Middleton of South Carolina.

"We're

going to war?"

"With

the British? They'll kill us all," said Francis Lightfoot Lee of

Virginia, trembling.

"Of course

we are going to war," said Jefferson. "It has already begun

and there is no going back now. We shall not live under tyrannical rule.

No taxation without representation. The Redcoats are coming. You know,

all that."

"Is that

really reason to go to war? I mean, we all hate paying taxes, but it's

just money. I don't want to die over a tax on sugar."

Jefferson had

had enough. If the fate of this young nation was to rest in their hands,

they would have to be led by a strong-minded individual, somebody who

knew what he was doing.

"Look,

it says right here, "That whenever any form of government becomes

destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to

abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on

such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall

seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness."

There was a

sound of confusion as the men tried to figure out exactly what Jefferson

was trying to say in that passage.

"He means

when government ticks us off and makes us mad, the people can rise up

and make a new government," Hancock said. "That is one slippery

slope, my friend."

Button Gwinnett

spoke up.

"Now,

what if our government breaks the rules, can the citizens overthrow it

as well?"

"Yes,"

said Jefferson. "I think there should be a revolution every 50 years."

At that point

everyone stood up and chortled. There would not be a revolution every

50 years. People wanted freedom, but they didn't want violence and death

and protest every 50 years. People wanted peace.

"The Declaration

is fine like it is," said Franklin, who put a hand on Jefferson's

shoulder. "Come on, Tom. Let's get some fresh air and go down to

the tavern. I have to tell you about the mouse that I've been talking

to."

Jefferson was

confused. A mouse? Perhaps everybody had been cooped up too long. Besides,

everyone had already signed the document and there was no reason to rewrite

it. The Continental Congress went out into the streets of Philadelphia,

pounded a few and then read their document to the people of the fair city

at 3:30 a.m., after ringing what is now known as the Liberty Bell for

close to half an hour.

Oh, and Button

Gwinnett was the one who put the crack in it.

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