"That

child needs a spanking." Ever said that? I have on numerous occasions.

At supermarkets and department stores. You've seen the same kid. He throws

a fit, throws himself on the floor with parent looking on with embarrassment.

The store's other patrons feign disinterest, but all the time thinking,

"That kid needs a spanking."

Fully realizing

the subject of child discipline has been in the Atlanta papers and realizing

it's a sensitive topic, I feel a need to address it. This controversy

invites me to weigh into the fray.

When I see

a child throw a fit with attendant screaming and crying and flaying of

hands, I think to myself, "child abuse." That's right, "child

abuse." The kid, to tell the truth, is in absolute misery. He has

failed to get his way and since he has not been given appropriate training,

he acts out a natural response: yelling, screaming, crying (by the way

I know some adults who still behave in similar fashion when they do not

get their way).

I call it "child

abuse" because the parent through neglect or ignorance has allowed

his child to grow thinking he should get his way regardless. So the kid

sits on the department store floor in absolute agony. His world has caved

in around him. What he has been led to believe has not come to reality.

He's not getting his way and he's in pain.

What the squalling

child does not know and has not been taught is this: it's okay not to

get your way all the time. Parents for centuries have taught their children,

"I'm in charge and if you challenge me, I will discipline you."

Let's look at what the greatest book on child rearing has to say on the

subject.

"The rod

and reproof give wisdom, but the child who gets his way brings shame to

his mother" (Proverbs 29:15). "Do not hold back discipline from

the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You

shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol" (Proverbs

23:13,14). "Foolishness is bound up with the heart of a child; the

rod of discipline will remove it far from him" (Proverbs 22:15).

Get the drift?

If only Little

Johnny when he threw his first fit for not getting his own way had been

brought to reality with a couple of swats on the gluteus maximus, he would

have grown in wisdom, benefiting him for the rest of his life and blessing

his dear parents for the rest of theirs.

In regard to

the discipline of children and even the discipline of believers, the Bible

doesn't approach the subject punitively, but redemptively. God disciplines

us because he loves us. In like fashion, we should discipline our children

because we love them. And it's very true: "All discipline for the

moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful. Yet to those who have been

trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness"

(Hebrews 12:11).

Of course,

the nature and force of discipline always has to be measured by the temperament

of the child. Of course, discipline that inflicts bodily injury crosses

the line into punishment. And, of course, all discipline should be meted

out without anger. For that reason, some parents should postpone discipline

in order to get a hold of their own emotions.

Discipline

can take the form of firm words or firm licks. It all depends upon the

parent and the child. Sometimes in order for my mother to get our attention,

she would resort to a peach tree limb. My father, on the other hand, never

had to go any further than a few selective words delivered with a special

voice. In fact, my father never laid a hand on any of his children (six

girls and one boy). But, boy, his words had a wallop about them.

Our land suffers

from people who believe they have to get their own way. Discipline insures

the transference of critical values and principles from one generation

to another. Please, get your child's attention!

The Rev. Dr. John Hatcher is pastor

of River's Edge

Community Church in Fayetteville.

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