The Mayor, the Developer and a big box bad dream

The Mayor,

the Developer and a big box bad dream

Since the Wal-Mart proposal

was only passed because of its supposed ability to pass the traffic impact

ordinance, the project should now be denied since RAM is in violation

of that ordinance. Perhaps Councilwoman Carol Fritz will recall the vote

since she was on the winning side of the Wal-Mart approval.

In addition, The Avenue project

is doing so well the traffic on the thoroughfare is much heavier. Current

data needs to be loaded into the computer model. I doubt that Wal-Mart

could pass the model again with updated data.

I will be on vacation and might

not be able to make the City Council meeting. However, I had a dream of

what I thought might happen at the June 7 meeting and I recorded it below.

Councilman: "Tell us,

Mr. Developer, why you repeatedly stated that you were in such a hurry

to begin these projects and gain approval and yet you refused to sign

the developers' agreements and obtain permits."

Mr. Developer: "Well,

ahh, yea, ah."

Mayor: "That's a sufficient

explanation and the City Attorney agrees. Besides, they have an exemption

on everything since they turned in a rectangle on a piece of paper before

we began discussing the big box ordinance for grandfathering purposes."

Councilman: "Mr. Developer,

why haven't you paid the money you have owed us for a substantial length

of time?"

Mr. Developer: "It has

always been my intention (pause) well, ahh, yea, ah."

Mayor: "That explains

it, in fact, we'll just eat that expense out of the council contingency

fund peanuts, don't worry about it."

City Attorney: "Mr. Mayor,

would you like me to explain why we are using the Russian definition of

'no vested interest' in this particular ordinance?"

Mayor: "Not necessary.

But I want to explain my sudden interest in having our local homeowners

pay for the traffic improvements on Ga. highways 54 and 74."

Councilman: "Is it because

it will enable the Wal-Mart to pass the traffic impact ordinance again?"

Mayor: "Well, ahh, yea,

ah."

Mr. Developer: "Let me

just explain that these two huge stores that will draw traffic from every

nearby county, that will cause the crime rate to climb, that will ruin

the village land use concept in place for the last 35 years, is truly

an asset to this community."

City Planning Staff: "We

agree with that assessment and we are thrilled that the Ga. Department

of Transportation decided to purchase an easement for six lanes across

on Hwy. 54 West. In fact, they are calling it Buford Highway South and

I think that is encouraging. In the name of land conservation we are also

considering the developer's proposal to build 400 apartment units atop

each big box store. The proposed apartments will not impact the traffic

since the developer plans to lease the units to United Nations refugees

and they cannot afford cars."

Councilman: "Mr. Developer,

you have promised to move the traffic light since December of 2000. Why

hasn't the light been moved?"

Mr. Developer: "Have you

ever tried to move a traffic light?"

Councilman: "No I haven't."

Mr. Developer: "It's not

easy. I've got someone reading the owner's manual and I just got my hands

on the 800 tech support number."

Mayor: "I appreciate your

earnestness."

Local citizen: "Why can't

we just follow the law?"

Mayor: "This is a tough

decision because I like being able to buy underwear at half-price, and

having a Wal-Mart nearby would be nice. Besides, crime is not a worry

since our police force isn't doing anything but parking at the Hwy. 54-74

intersection preventing absolute traffic mayhem anyway. Therefore I make

a motion that we give them one more chance using the Russian definition

of 'no vested interest'."

I did not want to give you

the results of the vote just in case you were thinking about attending

the meeting June 7, 7 p.m. at City Hall.

Steve Brown

Peachtree City

[email protected]