He has been my hero on more

than one occasion but never more so than on Wednesday, June 13.

A week or so before that date,

as I had climbed on the four-wheeler to go to the mailbox, the snake made

itself known, all five-plus feet of him had shot from under the four-wheeler

to hide under the bucket on the front of Daniel's tractor.

Though not really terrified,

I did of course want the snake gone, preferably killed. My husband and

son convinced me, however, that he was harmless. A white oak runner, they

said. Lives around barns and under porches and house and eats rats. A

natural part of the greater ecological picture.

Yeah ... "Well we don't

have rats to my knowledge and if we do there's always DeCon. That snake

is after my birds and he has to go."

Reluctantly, Daniel draped

the writhing creature over a rake, walked out to the edge of the woods

and tossed him in amongst the trees and underbrush.

The following Monday evening,

Daniel, Dylan, Elise and I were having an enjoyable dinner on the back

porch. A relaxed, special time with our grandchildren until the snake

appeared. Just slithered around the corner of the bricks and dropped himself

into their toy box. Daniel's eyes got wide. Even he could not believe

it.

Me? I am controlling myself

only for the sake of the children. But it's hard.

Every ounce of me wants to

scream. Voices ring in the recesses of my mind attempting to convince

me that snakes are more afraid of me than I am of them, that they will

run from me, that they will not approach me ... All liars. I knew better

all along.

One look and Daniel knew better

than to try to convince me that a harmless, environmentally friendly serpent

was now draped in and amongst the kid's toys. It had to die. All six or

so feet of him!

The following Saturday we are

at Home Depot and Daniel sends to me to fetch some spray to kill bees

and wasps. Seems he does not consider them environmentally friendly. So

while I'm scouting the shelves I discover "Snake Away" which

should be sprinkled all around any area you do not want to share with

snakes. There was a warning, however. Do not use it if you think the snakes

might already be in the area you want to protect because then they will

not leave.

Hysteria begins to build.

Two days later I finally erupted

when, while sitting at my desk, pecking away at the computer, I look up

to another huge "harmless" white oak runner perched in my window,

thankfully, on the outside. Just weaving his evil little head up and down

and back and forth as if to try to get a make on me as I sit only inches

from where he sits.

I lost it.

Through tears of fury I went

outside, in the rain, climbed on my four-wheeler, drove it up under the

window, stood on top of it, and with the hoe, walloped the slithering

mass of whatever he was made of. Trouble is, if you have ever attempted

to kill a snake you already know you can chop away and they keep going.

I only got in one wallop about

a foot from the tip of his tail. Didn't faze him. He slithered down and

up under my back porch. I jumped down in pursuit, just in time to see

him crawl up, over and through an opening under the back porch that leads

into the crawl space under the house . I cried. A lot.

Daniel arrived home from work

around 4 p.m. fully aware of what he had to do. A good 30-40 minutes he

spent under the house, crawling all around with a flashlight and hammer.

When he came out his words were, "I don't know if it's going to make

you feel better or worse, but that snake is not under there."

Wrong. I had stood guard. The

birds and squirrels had come back out to play in the yard when that snake

had disappeared. They and I knew that slithering mass of misery was still

crouching under there somewhere.

As luck would have it, while

on his failed mission, Daniel had spotted a loose something or other under

the house that needed attention. He retrieved whatever he needed for the

repair from his workshop and back into the darkness he crawled, still

with flashlight and hammer in hand. This time he came out with a chopped

up snake in tow. It had been coiled up under the hot water heater.

My hero once more. The birds

and I rejoiced.

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