Last week, I gave my responses

to "21 rules for being a good little Republican in 21st century America,"

which have been floating around on the Internet.

This week, I offer my own rules

for liberal Democrats, which I'm sure someone out there will want to answer.

And by the way, if any of you

decide to send my rules around on the Internet, I want credit.

Twenty-one rules for being

a good little liberal Democrat in 21st century America:

1. You have to believe

that all rich people are rich because they were visited by the money fairy.

2. You have to believe

that all poor people are poor because the money fairy robbed them and

gave the loot to the rich.

3. You must buy into

the idea that you can reduce air pollution by creating traffic jams.

4. You must be against

the divisive "politics of personal destruction" as practiced

people on the streets, kill all the old people, keep the women barefoot

and pregnant and ruin the air, water and land.

5. The following math

must make sense to you: A 12 percent increase in spending is proposed,

but conservatives manage to reduce that increase to 10 percent. Therefore,

the budget has been "slashed" by 20 percent (or "gutted,"

"cut to the bone," "poor people will be put on the street

and old people will die in order to give a bigger tax cut to the richest

2 percent" pick one).

6. If given a choice

between security and freedom, you must choose security every time.

7. You have to like

the idea of taking billions of dollars out of each state in taxes, then

giving the same money