This is a week for passages,

preschool to kindergarten, fifth grade to the middle years, eighth grade

to high school, and for hundreds of high school seniors, the giant passage,

high school to all points beyond.

In a moment that is both celebratory

and nostalgic, many people are poised this week on the brink of something

unknown and wonderful. Somewhere between the lyrics of "Yesterday,"

"Tomorrow," and "I Wish That I Knew What I Know Now, When

I Was Younger," lies a young person's hope for the future, a legacy

of untapped wisdom just ripe for the picking, and the sweet ache for what

was.

For parents, these are times

that bring us to our knees, in joy, pride, memory, hope, and maybe even

a little sadness.

No matter what stage you are

in, no matter how old the child or how large the leap, each time you look

at them, you see it all. Instead of "I love you," you would

more aptly say, "I love you infinitely."

Your children look at you with

a mixture of concern and pity, but if another parent hears you as you

trip over this truth, they just nod quietly in affirmation, and brush

the goose bumps off their arms. As though you've been holding your breath

their whole lives, you exhale a little and inhale more.

The rules may change, their

routines may differ, but the bottom line is they're loaners. We get to

diaper, delight, discipline, direct, inevitably differ, hopefully delve

deeper to a greater understanding, then deliver them to their destiny,

not necessarily in that order. We only let out our breath in little sighs,

always careful to replace our relief with a provisional measure of worry.

If you are the parent of a

graduating senior, you wish that you could condense all that you know

of adulthood and give it to them in a nice, neat package, because once

they're on their own, they'll learn it all just like you did, one mistake

or triumph at a time.

Wisely, though, you know that

experience is the best teacher, but don't be afraid to share your insights

with adult children, either. Parenting is a lifetime commitment. Say 10

percent of what you're thinking, and make that 10 percent the best advice.

As my gift, I would bequeath

a generosity of spirit, and suggest that the greatest reward and happiness

that a person can know comes from showing compassion for others, giving

of your time and talents, and contributing to a greater good. I would

tell them that even the deepest despair is scaleable, and that when things

look the bleakest, the very next thing that they will see is some improvement.

I would give to these emerging

adults the confidence to live their own lives, but the courage to give

proper consideration to constructive criticisms offered in love by those

they trust. Seek the counsel of the very young and the very old. The clarity

of their insight is profound, and recognizing that great truths can come

from the most unlikely sources will keep you humble.

Don't be afraid to ask for

help. Sometimes it is the strongest persons who can recognize their own

weaknesses. Take chances, but don't sneer at a sure thing. Things may

go smoothly, or they may not. Don't be cynical, but try not to be gullible

either.

Spend some time deciding what

you believe. Accept that these beliefs may deepen or evolve over time,

but essentially, if you're honest with yourself, there will be comfort

in knowing who you are.

Chances are, you will mellow

with age. Things like body piercings and tattoos may seem like the thing

to do in the heat of the moment, but asking yourself, "How will I

view this 20 years from now?" is a great litmus test for foolish

acts.

Don't dwell on past mistakes,

but don't keep making the same ones over and over again either. A good

motto is, "I'll try hard not to make the same mistake twice."

Prioritize your top 10 most

important beliefs or goals for your life.

When you choose a spouse, hopefully

after you've had some time to really grow comfortable with yourself, seek

someone who shares the same top five priorities. Accept no compromise

on the top three.

Love big. Laugh from your belly.

Sing out loud. Cry sometimes, or walk in the rain. It rinses the soul.

Start a tradition. Read some great books. Be a friend. Be kind and gentle.

Be bold. Craft some solutions. Share your ideas. You are the director

of your own life now. Create something wonderful.

[Your comments are welcome

at: [email protected].]