Last week a

colleague of mine saw "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and walked

out.

I believe that

everyone is entitled to an opinion, but sometimes someone else's opinions

are not as valid as mine.

I can understand

walking out of movies. I have walked out of movies on a number of occasions,

but never an Oscar-nominated film.

One movie that

I walked out of was "Weekend At Bernie's 2." If you are a faithful

reader of this column, you have probably caught me venting my disgust

at this film before. The film took place a short time after the first

film, but it had aged poorly in the years between releases. Audiences

were now expected to extend their disbelief even further, buying into

the fact that an entire community would still think Bernie was alive.

The film also focused on two Caribbean con men and a voodoo ritual that

made Bernie's corpse dance every time he heard Reggae.

I made it through

10 minutes and had to give up. It is constantly on cable and I still get

the shakes when I pass by it.

Another film

that was worth walking out on was "Almost Heroes" starring Matthew

Perry ("Friends") and Chris Farley ("Dead Fat Junkie").

Luckily, I didn't have to pay for this one, as a friend of mine worked

at a movie theater. I believe Farley had already kicked the bucket when

this came out, but if he hadn't you could see he was close. He was extremely

heavy (especially in the face) and his voice seemed strained.

Perry was awful,

as were the jokes. The plot focused on two people out to defeat Lewis

and Clark's exploration teams. This was truly one of the worst movies

I have ever seen in my life.

Now, I know

I have professed my love of B-grade movies, but there is a difference

between B-grade and bad. A B-grade movie isn't really trying to be outstanding.

In fact, they seem to revel in how low-budget and cheesy they are. B-grade

movies also rarely have the support of a Hollywood studio.

Bad movies

set out to be good and have the support of a studio, a budget and a marketing

department. "The Legend of Boggy Creek" and "Zarkorr The

Invader" are B-grade movies. Yes, they are poorly written and acted,

but they are both semi-entertaining. "Mannequin 2" and "Hocus

Pocus" are bad movies.

Some of you

probably own "Hocus Pocus" and would defend this film strongly,

but here's why I hated this film. I grew up near Salem and the city in

the movie looked nothing like Salem. I also really disliked the character

of the talking cat and found it quite disturbing. There is one scene in

which the cat is flattened by a car. The children cry and then the cat

reinflates himself and says, "Don't cry. I told you I can't die."

It really bugged me.

As you can

see, walking out of movies does not bother me. I can understand the disappointment

over paying some of your hard-earned cash, thinking you'll be entertained

and then being grossly disappointed when that doesn't happen. I sat through

"Nutty Professor II: The Klumps" because I was with someone

and didn't know if they wanted to leave, despite the feeling that the

film would not get any better and could only get worse.

I feel bad

that my friend did not enjoy "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"

but he has the right, as we all do, to exit a film early if it does not

live up to his expectations. The only problem with walking out of a movie

is that you have paid to see it and no matter how bad it is, you will

not get your money back.

How many people

have sat through movies they hated?

"Nutty

Professor II" made a lot of money, so much that they could justify

making another one if they wanted to. Yet, that movie was rank.

I just ask

that if you hate a movie, walk out and register a complaint with the theater

and with the studio that produced it. You may be the only one, like my

buddy, but that way you can feel justified in knowing that they may have

your money but they'll never have your heart.

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