A friend, the Rev. Deacon Dan

Hale, sent a few giggles my way. I happen to be one of those people that

believe that, generally speaking, church folk take themselves way too

seriously and that some are in serious need of a humor transplant.

One pastor, several years ago,

actually told me that "humor and levity has no place in the pulpit

or in church." Ah, what a delightful place HIS church must be!

I am informed that the following

blurbs actually first appeared as announcements in church bulletins in

our fair country. If you are "religious," please skip this column

and go read something serious or depressing. However, if you believe that

"a merry heart doeth good like a medicine," even during the

season of Lent, then read on:

l Bertha Belch, a missionary

from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine.

Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

l Announcement in the church

bulletin for a national prayer and fasting conference: "The cost

for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

l Our youth basketball team

is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out

and watch us kill Christ the King.

l Miss Charlene Mason sang,

"I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to

the congregation.

l "Ladies, don't forget

the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping

around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

l Next Sunday is the family

hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns.

Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

l The peacemaking meeting scheduled

for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

l The sermon this morning:

"Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching

for Jesus."

l Next Thursday there will

be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

l Barbara remains in the hospital

and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble

sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

l The Rector will preach his

farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into

Joy."

l Remember in prayer the many

who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say

"hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

l Don't let worry kill you

let the Church help.

l Irving Benson and Jessie

Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that

began in their school days.

l A bean supper will be held

on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

l At the evening service tonight,

the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen

to our choir practice.

l Eight new choir robes are

currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the

deterioration of some older ones.

l The senior choir invites

any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

l Scouts are saving aluminum

cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to

cripple children.

l The Lutheran men's group

will meet at 6 p.m. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert

will be served for a nominal feel.

l For those of you who have

children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

l Please place your donation

in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

l Attend and you will hear

an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

l The church will host an evening

of fine dining, superb entertainment and gracious hostility.

l Potluck supper Sunday at

5 p.m. prayer and medication to follow.

l The ladies of the Church

have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement

on Friday afternoon.

l This evening at 7 p.m. there

will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket

and come prepared to sin.

l Ladies Bible Study will be

held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship

Hall after the B.S. is done.

l The pastor would appreciate

it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles

for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

l Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use

the back door.

l The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the

Church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend

this tragedy.

l Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church.

Please use large double doors at the side entrance.

l Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

l The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan

last Sunday: "I upped my pledge Up yours."

[Father David Epps is rector of Christ the King Charismatic Episcopal

Church in Peachtree City. He may be contacted at [email protected]

or at www.ChristTheKing.com.]