I do not subscribe

to the "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" school of thought,

partially because Martian men are short and violent (see Marvin the Martian)

and Venutian women are known to be very hot (we're talking in excess of

600 degrees Fahrenheit).

Men and women

are really not that different and the few differences that do exist certainly

do not warrant a book, television program, weekly column and/or musical.

But since John

Gray is now the Bill Gates of self-help, I have begun work on my own self-help

franchise. It's called "People Are From Earth." There's enough

going on this planet for everyone to cash in. How else would you explain

Nelly (the rapper during the Super Bowl Halftime Show look for him on

next year's "VH-1 Where Are They Now" special.)?

"People

Are From Earth" will bridge the gaps between gender, race, religion

and age. It will let everyone on the planet know that despite what is

going on in their current surroundings, they are just like everyone else.

There will be chapters on childhood, the teen years, life at home, life

in the work place, love and death.

Death is the

biggest chapter. It is what unites us all and is also one heck of a motivational

tool.

Here is a portion

of the book's affirmation.

"Everybody

ages, breathes, chews, drools in their sleep, eats, fidgets, gags on that

thing doctors use for a strep throat test, hiccups, imagines, jokes around,

kisses, laughs, meets new people, names their pets, opens doors and windows,

plays with animals or people, quits a job, remembers something really

embarrassing, sleeps, talks, undresses, vibrates when sitting on a vibrating

chair, wipes that look off of their face, xylophones and zaps people with

static electricity. Everybody does some or all of these things because

they are people and people are from earth."

Don't you feel

better already?

I find that

books like "Men Are From Mars ... " are very divisive and make

big issues out of little things like controlling the remote control and

leaving the toilet seat up. We, as people, should understand that everyone

has the potential to be annoying because we are easily annoyed.

I also dislike

the idea that men are one way and women are the other. I have yet to meet

people that can be classified simply by their gender. I know men who hate

sports and I know women who love NASCAR.

It also suggests

that because people are one way, they will never truly change. People

do change. Deion Sanders went from rebel to soldier of God, while many

have gone the other way.

Another problem

with self-help books is that they rely too heavily on individuals to help

themselves. If it were really that easy, wouldn't we all help ourselves?

It is very easy to not have to depend on anybody or trust anybody, but

in actuality we need others to help us.

Can you dig

yourself out of a hole? Of course not. Instead of being a self-help book,

"People Are From Earth" will strongly encourage everybody to

try to help everyone else out.

If we can share

the benefits of our experiences and have the welfare of all people in

our hearts, Earth could be an excellent place to live.

So, the next

time someone tries to sell you on the idea that men are from one place

and women are from another and the twain shall always meet but the results

will be filled with friction, tell them that you are a person from Earth.

No more and no less.

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