If one more

person asks me if I'm ready for Christmas, I'm going to smack them.

This is fair

warning to all you early birds that have had your presents purchased and

wrapped by Labor Day, cards signed, addressed and stamped by Halloween,

and the cookies baked and frozen before Thanksgiving don't give me that

smug look and ask THAT question.

It's pretty

obvious to anyone who really knows me that I'm never prepared for the

holidays until after they're over. This year I'm actually ahead of schedule.

The hay bails and pumpkins got trashed a week ago and my house is now

sporting icicle lights. The tree is a work in progress.

I've purchased

several gifts and even plan to Fed Ex the play Nativity set to my godchild

in Oregon before March. Buying a Christmas-related gift really necessitates

timely mailing. This is a tremendous improvement over last year's June

delivery of presents.

But I have

a sneaky feeling that my good intentions for sending cards this year may

go the way of past holidays. For the past four years, I have purchased

the cards and stamps, only to miss the Christmas deadline. I now have

eight boxes of Hallmark cards in the closet.

Fortunately,

my kids still have tremendous faith in me. Every day, they recite their

lists of wants, magnetize a copy to the fridge and pray nightly to Our

Lady of Perpetual Help that she will see their mommy through the perilous

parking lot at Fayette Pavilion.

Somehow, everything

always comes together around 3 a.m. Christmas morning. The gifts get wrapped

and placed under the finished tree, Santa's cookies get eaten and I find

the baby Jesus to complete the creche.

Then it's all

over in the blink of an eye.

Luckily, all

the leftover decorations go on sale the day after Christmas, ready to

be snatched up and stored by those of you who will try to beat your own

best time and be ready for Holiday 2001 by July 4.

Don't be surprised

if you get a card from me on Independence Day Christmas in July can be

a real treat.

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