If you want to know what's

going on in town, what politician can be trusted and which ones cannot,

who's done what to whom and why, then find the spot (usually some kind

of eatery) where the men congregate on Any Town Square, USA and listen.

Just listen. You will blow

every thing if you ask, because the locals will then ask ten questions

to your one.

I was traveling back from Albany

last week and stopped off in Thomaston for lunch. Earlier, I had stopped

in Butler at the town restaurant, a weathered old house with a wrap-around

porch about a block off the square. It smelled good as soon as I opened

my car door, but the vittles there would have made my gut angry for days.

We're talking ham and cabbage, sweet potatoes, and big white limas all

at one meal.

My husband would have been

in culinary heaven. Me? I'm not tough enough to eat like that.

So I bought a glass of iced

tea and a cassette tape. Oh, yeah, the local restaurant was run by a cute

young woman wearing hunting fatigues, black lace up boots, and a t-shirt.

She was interesting and grew more so when I noticed the pretty girl on

the cassette tape by the cash register resembled her.

I asked. One and the same.

I bought a tape. She said she had made it a year ago.

I drove away to a Loretta Lynn,

Tammy Wynette, Patsy Cline blend with a touch of something a little different.

Don't know what to call it yet, but I know I'm hearing the same sound

from some of the new singing stars that are calling themselves country.

Oh well, time goes by and things change.

Except in Thomaston. Well,

actually, I suppose things are changing there too, since the pool table

is gone. I was shocked to find I had two eatery choices that were located

on the square. I thought that was a bit unusual. You are lucky these days

to find even one restaurant still located on an old town square.

I chose English's Cafe on the

southwest corner and walked in to a rectangular shaped serving arena at

the front of the store. The L-shaped windows of the building gave the

owner and anybody who chose to sit at the bar stools, which were available

on three sides of the service area, full view of the town square.

It was early, not even noon

yet, and I was the first one there. There was a sign just inside the door

announcing that chicken salad was the daily special. I ordered a chicken

salad sandwich, chips and tea. I got change back out of a five. Nice.

The sandwich was good, too.

Before anybody else showed

up I asked about the big metal box sitting in the center of the area where

Diane (the owner) stood. It's our bun warmer, she said. Biggest bun warmer

I'd ever seen. And then the people started coming.

The first fellow walked in

and never said a word. One hot dog coming up, said Diane, and he just

nodded. When the others started drifting in, one ordered the chicken salad

sandwich. Another ordered two hot dogs. The rest? They all ordered a hamburger,

the house special.

It was the darndest hamburger

I'd ever seen. Diane reached into the warmer, pulled out a bun, opened

it and spooned scrambled hamburger meat on top, then squeezed some kind

of special sauce (catchup based) over the meat, put the top on it, and

handed it to one eager diner after another.

After about the third order

I really blew it. Once the locals started coming in I knew to sit there,

be quiet, mind my own business and just listen. Yep, I knew better, but

I had to ask about that burger preparation.

"You must not be from

around here?" echoed the voices around the counter as all eyes were

suddenly on me. I admitted I lived just 25 miles away, but quickly added

I'd been living there less than three years. Nobody was impressed.

I learned that the English

Cafe burger had been prepared that way since 1929. When the pool table

was still there a player could turn from the table to order a burger,

have it served up and never miss a shot. I believe it. We're talking seconds

here.

I'll go back. I'll order that

burger next time, keep my mouth shut, and listen. The stories were just

getting good before I had to up and show my ignorance.