October is nationally recognized

as "Clergy Appreciation Month." You may not be aware of that

because most ministers are responsible for the communication that gets

to their congregation. And most ministers are extremely reluctant to publicly

proclaim, "Hey, it's Clergy Appreciation Month! So appreciate me

already!"

Yet, to be honest, it's hard

for most people to really appreciate their minister because they don't

have any idea what they really do. The average impression is that of the

minister greeting people at church, preaching, and smiling at the door.

Even my own grandchild said, "Pop, what do you do during the week

when everybody else goes to work?"

I said, "I'm the pastor

of the church sweetheart."

"Oh, I know that."

She said with a gorgeous smile. "Everybody knows that but what do

you do for a living?"

Sigh.

I won't attempt to bore you

with the details of daily life as a pastor during this particular musing.

But just let me say that it is not unusual to leave for the hospital at

5:30 a.m. and stagger back into the bedroom after a late night meeting

at 11 p.m. And that doesn't even mean the end of the day since most disasters

and emergencies occur after the midnight hour. Most ministers, even though

they are smiling and shaking hands when you see them on Sunday and throughout

the week, are mostly just dead tired much of the time. Whatever pain,

agony and desperation people can experience, their pastors experience

i t with them day after day.

Did you know that 80 percent

of clergy say that isolation is the number one problem they face? Most

ministers are incredibly lonely, regardless of the size church they serve.

Many have faced brutal criticism by board members, malicious gossip (and

occasional outright lies) by members of the congregation, and betrayal

leaders and fellow pastors are not necessarily to be trusted.

Years ago, when I was a minister

in a different denomination, I had a problem with a minister several miles

away. I went to a trusted friend, also a pastor, to receive counsel and

obtain advice. One week later, I braced myself and went to talk to the

pastor with whom I was having problems. It was then I discovered that

the pastor who had counseled me had betrayed my trust. I doubt that I

made it to the church parking lot before he was on the phone to the man

with whom I had difficulty.

And 94 percent of clergy feel

pressure to have the "ideal" family. Other kids can get by with

things, but not the pastor's kids. In the past, my own wife has been subjected

to nasty and catty remarks about every aspect of her character, attire,

hairstyle, and conduct of life. My three sons were continually under the

microscope.

If a pastor buys a new car,

he will likely be criticized. If he purchases a new home, again the criticism

will flow. ("Well, we must be paying you too much, Pastor!")

A friend of mine in my hometown had two old cars, neither of which worked.

Someone gave him an old (and I do mean old) Mercedes that could have used

a paint job and had zillions of miles. But it ran well. Yet, when his

people found out that the pastor was driving a Mercedes... well, it wasn't

pretty.

A full 80 percent of ministers

believe that ministry affects their family negatively. I am aware of a

pastor of a church of 3,000 in another state who has received death threats,

his wife has been stalked, and members of his family have been accosted

and berated in public places. Oh, by the way, nearly all of these threats

and problems came from active church members. At the moment, this young

man is depressed, discouraged, and considering leaving the pastorate.

A shocking 70 percent of ministers,

if they had it to do over, would not be in the ministry. Most entered

the ministry with dreams, goals, and good motives and intentions. But,

like Moses in the Exodus wanderings, who found that the people of God

brought him more grief that did the pagan Egyptians, a number of ministers

wonder what happened to their dreams of shepherding a loving flock and

helping to grow a dynamic church.

Nearly all have invested their

lives in people, in some cases helping to restore marriages and relationships,

help people gain a new relationship with God, or helping the people to

grow spiritually, only to have those same people blithely leave the church

without so much as a "thank you" or even a word of explanation

as to why they have left.

The average pastor works 54

hours a week, rarely takes a full day off, and gets but six hours of sleep

each night. Many do not own their own home, are terribly underpaid, have

practically no job security, a pitiful retirement plan, if any, and struggle

to pay their bills. They help raise money for the poor children at Christmas

time while, at the same time; their own kids have a sparse celebration.

They hope their children earn

good grades and qualify for a scholarship because the reality is that

they may not be able to afford college tuition. The average pastor serves

a church of 70 to 100 people on Sunday morning because that is the size

of the average church in America. And 99 percent of pastors will never

pastor a mega-church, be asked to speak at denominational gatherings,

or have their face on the cover of a religious magazine. But they do what

they do because they love God and they love you.

Like a father who loves with

an aching and breaking heart his stubborn and contentious teen, so your

pastor loves you. They will give up the money, the honor, the new cars,

and new homes. They will set aside the hope of a vacation home, or a cruise,

or dreams of a large nest egg. Your pastor does all that for you. It's

his life, his calling.

So, why not send him a card

this week? Or tell him Sunday that you appreciate what he (or she) does

in your church week after week. Maybe your church could do something special

and make an event of it.

But the best gift you could

give him would be to become a faithful, dependable, giving member who

steadfastly refuses to complain, whine, or gossip. After all, God brought

him (or her) to your parish. Perhaps he ought to be treated like a gift

from God. Even if it's not October.

[David Epps is Rector of Christ

the King Church He may be contacted at [email protected] or at www.ChristTheKingCEC.com.]