"If Jesus came to our

town, would he visit Hooters, have a beer, and eat

oysters?" Now, it's always dangerous to presume to

have an idea what Jesus would do in any given situation,

but it's an intriguing question, don't you think? WWJD?

What would Jesus do?

Around 11 or 12 years ago,

I was taking a week-long seminary course in Lakeland,

Fla. On that Sunday, I had left my church service around

12:30 p.m., driven the eight hours, and checked into the

Holiday Inn on South Florida Drive. Weary and hungry, I

asked the clerk at the hotel, "Do you have a

restaurant here?" "No," he replied,

"but there's one right next door." Thanking

him, I walked across the parking lot and entered the

Lakeland Hooters Restaurant. I had never heard of the

place, had no preconceived thoughts one way or the other,

and was not struck blind upon entering.

The place was a bit noisy,

but no more so than a Ruby Tuesday's or a Longhorn

Steakhouse. The waitress, a sweet young lady attending

the local university, took my order and brought a pitcher

of Diet Coke (I am addicted to Coke and don't generally

like beer) and a platter of fried oysters and fries.

It is true that the

waitress was in her early 20s, was attractive, wore

orange shorts and a T-shirt, but this was Florida.

Everybody seemed to be friendly, in shorts and T-shirts,

and young (to me everybody is young!). I watched

television while I ate the oysters and enjoyed the

evening. I believe that I may have eaten there twice more

that week.

Some months later, I

revisited the seminary, accompanied by a friend, another

pastor. After the eight-hour drive, we were tired and

hungry. Staying at the same Holiday Inn, I suggested that

we try the place next door and off we went.

When we arrived at the

restaurant, he froze and looked at me aghast. "I'm

not going in there!" he declared.

"Why not?"

"Because that's

Hooters!" he stated.

"So? And your point is

what?" I inquired.

He explained that it was

not a good place to go, as ministers we shouldn't be

there, and, anyway, his wife would kill him! (I may not

have perfect recall about that night, but that's my

version and I'm sticking to it). So, we went somewhere

else that didn't even serve oysters.

When I arrived home, I told

my wife about the event and asked her if she didn't think

that my friend was being a bit silly. She wanted to know

what I was doing in that place and forbade me to ever eat

at Hooters again. Because some hills are not worth dying

for or dying on, I meekly complied ... for the most part,

anyway.

But back to the question

first proffered above. I believe that the answer is

"probably, possibly, and maybe."

In reverse order, as to the

oysters, Jesus, being a good law-keeping Jew would

probably not have eaten oysters when he was walking the

earth. Judaism, after all, contained a shellfish

prohibition (Leviticus 11:10-12). However, in Acts

10:14-15, it appears that this prohibition was lifted.

So, maybe he would eat oysters.

But would he drink a beer?

No matter how one tries to explain it away, it is clear

that Jesus turned water into wine (John 2:1-10), ate

enough food and drank enough wine that the religious

people were scandalized (Matthew 11:18-19), and offered

the disciples wine at the institution of Holy Communion

(Luke 22:17-18, 20). It is disingenuous and historically

irresponsible to suggest that the substance in the cup

was Welch's. Jews used wine at Passover.

So, he drank wine ... but

beer? I dunno about that one ... possibly.

Would he go to Hooters?

Jesus didn't seem as bothered by the everyday common

people as modern religious people are. Indeed, he really

didn't seem to care one way or the other what the

religious people thought about him. In fact, the

religious leaders spat out their accusation that he was a

"friend of sinners" (Matthew 11:19).

The last time I looked,

"sinners," neither in Jesus' time nor in our

day, weren't out looking all over the city for religious

people to follow around. And, at least in my observation,

most religious people are not out trying to get chummy

with irreligious folk.

Simply put, Jesus went to

where the "sinners" were (and, as if we needed

to be reminded, we all are sinners, "saved by grace

through faith," notwithstanding). The religious

leader named Simon could not believe that Jesus would

allow himself to even be physically touched by this

riffraff (Luke 7:39). No true "prophet" would

hang around with these kind of people. So thought Simon

disgustedly ... and wrongly.

So would Jesus go to a

place like Hooters? He certainly would not go there, or

anywhere, to ogle or flirt and drink to excess. If he did

go, it wouldn't be for the oysters. Jesus would go to the

cross for people that were called "sinners."

Early Church tradition even said that he went to hell for

those that were called "sinners." But would he

go to Hooters for them? Probably.

On at least one occasion

Jesus did get criticized for eating with the undesirables

at the home of a known sinner. "When the Pharisees

saw this, they asked his disciples, `Why does your

teacher eat with... sinners?' On hearing this Jesus said,

`It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick...

For I have not come to call the righteous but

sinners'" (Matthew 9:11-12).

I think that if the

"sinners" were at Hooters, or at the local pool

hall, or at the biker bar, Jesus would go and eat with

them. He might even drink a beer and eat a few oysters.

And I really don't think he would give a hoot about what

anybody else thought about it.

[Father

David Epps is rector at Christ the King Charismatic

Episcopal Church in the South Metro Atlanta area. When he

is not drinking Diet Coke and eating oysters, he may be

contacted at [email protected] or at www.ChristTheKingCEC.com .]