I may be

naive. I may be dumb. I may even be a boob, but I just

don't understand all the opposition to having a Hooters

restaurant in Fayetteville.

We have music-themed

eateries with Hard Rock Cafe. We have movie-themed diners

with Planet Hollywood. So, why can't we have a place like

Hooters, with a nocturnal-bird theme? Why such owl

discrimination?

Maybe it is the huge,

haunting eyes of the bird on their logo that upsets some

people. Some though, seem strangely excited by the pair.

I have taken a little

amateur survey and most of the guys I have talked to are

appalled at the prejudice. My friends (those interested

enough to pull themselves away from the "World

Wrestling Federation") uttered words like,

"devastating," "crushing" and

"duh?" Considering the close-mindedness of the

community, I feel dumbstruck, like a deer caught staring

into headlights.

My ideas may come up flat

here, but I see a lot of useful reasons for having a

place in town that focuses on the bird-lover in us all. I

heard a couple of guys, who have never even been

interested in ornithology, say they were going out to buy

binoculars the day Hooters opened. I don't really stay

abreast of museums and nature conclaves but if I am ever

going to start, it seems now would be the time.

I overheard some of these

guy friends and they seemed to be talking about other

"themed" restaurant ideas, too. It must have

been a goose-themed place when I heard one pal talk about

"Honkers." And another seemed to be suggesting

a dairy-themed diner called "Jugs." One

restaurant they discussed seemed like it would have a

"Cheers-like" spacious, open atmosphere

centered on saying good-bye creatively to buddies called

Bodacious Ta-Ta's.

Any of these would be as

likely to be successful as cold-weather themed

"Chilis," or what I think is the most

distastefully named restaurant in the world, obviously

named for a holding drum full of rednecks (not to mention

reverse-racist): Cracker Barrel. People are sick.

But, let's dwell on Hooters

for a moment.... Okay, I'm back. I love eating out and I

love nature, so I obviously feel I could give Hooters

some pointers or tips on how to make a perky impression

on Fayetteville City Council members.

What they need is a catch

phrase that makes people feel okay about visiting a

combination restaurant and bird sanctuary - some

community-spirited bumper stickers that say, "I'm a

Hooters supporter." Or the confidence-minded,

"Hooters stand together." The touchy-feely

family-oriented, "My Dad loves Hooters," could

be just what the restaurant needs to make it here in

town.

If nothing else works we

could get the ACLU to sue in the name of bird lovers

everywhere. This could be their most noble case ever. I

don't know, I am just groping for some conclusion to all

this. Underneath it all there seems to be a cleavage

ripped through our community.

We also need to consider

the innocent victims in this fight, the waitresses. They

always seem to be women on the bottom of the pay scale,

as I have heard they come to work with barely any

clothes. Another neglected gender group gone bust, I

guess.

To finish my speech, I will

say that we do already have a Hooters close by in Newnan

and I have never visited it. I am sure it serves their

community well. But this is the year 2000 and it's all

about choice, so considering the distance from Peachtree

City, where I live, to Newnan, I would rather have the

option of having one in Fayetteville also, so I could be

between two Hooters.