Kathy Bruce

of Fayetteville and her two children, Parker,9, and

McLain, 7, are survivors.

For seven

years, Kathy has tried to come to grips with the

devastating loss of her husband Marty through suicide.

Parker, who was two at the time of his father's death,

misses having a dad. Kathy was still carrying McLain when

her husband took his life. McLain grieves for a father

she never knew.

Last month,

Kathy and Parker spent six days in Washington, D.C.

lobbying Congress to fund the National Suicide Prevention

Strategy. They also participated in the SPAN (Suicide

Prevention Advocacy Network) Awareness Event. Kathy is a

dedicated volunteer for the prevention of suicide through

education, treatment and governmental and private sector

involvement.

Her

devastating experience prompted her to take action and

reach out to others who have become unwilling survivors.

In her address at the SPAN candle light memorial service

in Lafayette Park, she spoke of the questions that ran

through her brain at the time of her husband's death and

for days and years afterward in regard to her children.

"How

will I tell that their father died by his own hand? When?

How can I explain that their grandfather and aunt died

the same way? How will I reach them that it does not need

to happen to them? What can I do to end this horrifying

family legacy? A big part of the answer, I hope, is here.

All of us here tonight and all the others who are

speaking out about suicide and demanding that we find

ways to prevent it, are the examples I hold out to my

children. They now both know how and why their father,

grandfather and aunt died. We are the makers of lemonade,

I tell them. We cannot change what happened in our family

before, but we can learn and speak out and be proud of

the lives of those whom we loved so dearly and not let

their last act be the definition of who they were."

Kathy is

determined to make a difference. She has organized a

local SPAN chapter in Fayette County, which meets monthly

at Fayetteville's First United Methodist Church, and

wants to see a collaborative effort on the part of mental

health professionals and agencies to address suicide

prevention.

Parker

spoke simply and eloquently about his father in

Washington, placing his focus on the illnesses which

often lead to suicide.

"I was

two years old when my dad died. One of the very few

memories I have of my dad was when he was playing with me

in my playroom. I was lying on the floor and I was

climbing on him. I remember seeing tears running down his

face. I didn't understand why. My mom told me that my dad

had an illness called bipolar. She said that he went to

the doctor and he took medicine to make him better. The

medicine was not helping. He hurt so much he wanted the

pain to end. He shot himself.

"Not

long ago, when I was talking to my mom about my dad, I

realized that my dad did the same thing to me that his

dad did to him. My grandfather committed suicide when my

dad was the age I am now. How could he do that to me when

he knew how it is to grow up without a dad?

"He

didn't know that what was wrong with him was an illness.

My mom said that back then, when my dad was my age,

people didn't know very much about depression and suicide

and that they were ashamed. My little sister and I know

that this an illness that runs in our family. We know

that it is treatable. We want other people to know how to

prevent suicide."

Kathy said

she decided to involve her children in the SPAN

initiative because she knows that suicide is preventable.

"Bipolar and unipolar illnesses are genetic. Rather

than hide in shame, I have decided to be proactive. My

children already know more about suicide and mental

illness than many adults. We view these illnesses as

treatable and no more shamefully than diabetes or cancer.

SPAN's goal is to save lives."

For

information about SPAN, or to obtain an advocacy letter

petitioning Congress to fund a national strategy for

suicide prevention, contact Kathy at 770-719-9893 or [email protected] .