At the June

19 Fayette County Board of Education meeting, school

board member Woody Shelnutt asked Superintendent John

DeCotis to look into the possibility of establishing a

new policy addressing parental notification for certain

violations to the student code of conduct.

Previously, parental

notification was generally reserved for incidences which

threatened the lives of others, such as when a student

brings a weapon to school or makes specific threats

against fellow students or staff.

Mr. Shelnutt said he has

raised the issue in response to phone calls he has

received from a number of parents regarding other types

of behavioral code violations, specifically sexual

improprieties, when they are committed in the presence of

other students.

While clearly the school

cannot possibly notify parents of every conduct breach

that children may be exposed to, it should be mandatory

to notify parents of children who may have been witness

to a blatant sexual act on school premises.

This past spring, on a

Rising Star school bus, parents allege that two

middle-school-aged children engaged in oral sex on a bus

carrying other children, including high school students,

to school. The act reportedly occurred in full view of

other students on the bus, but was not seen by the bus

driver. Barbara Bakelaar, principal of Rising Star

Middle, confirmed that a "sexual impropriety did

occur on a bus between two eighth graders on the way to

school."

The incident was brought to

the attention of the assistant principle, Bob Ferguson,

students were "disciplined, counseled, and [their]

parents were notified that day."

Wayne Robinson, director of

secondary education, confirms that the students were

indeed suspended for the remainder of the school year.

Mr. Robinson reports that there have been three other

cases of sexual impropriety committed on school property

in the last three years, but none of those were committed

in the presence of other students.

In the Rising Star case,

where other students were present, Mrs. Bakelaar

confirms, "We did not notify the parents of the

[other] children on that bus," but adds that in the

future, she will look to any directives from the

superintendent as to how to proceed should a similar

situation occur again.

In all fairness, while

parents are justifiably concerned, this is not just a

school problem. Other parents in the community are

reporting that they are intercepting sexually graphic

e-mails and instant messages that are being sent among

young students. Still others are reporting finding

condoms in play parks and around neighborhood pools.

Unsubstantiated rumors

abound, as parents scramble to confront their worst fears

about what it must be like to grow up in this lost

generation. Most recognize that we are pretty lucky here

in Fayette. Most young people are on the right track,

most parents are actively involved, but many parents

recognize the need to be open about the realities of teen

sexual behavior and implore the schools to be forthright

when they see troubling incidences occur.

"We know you're up

against tough situations, and we want to be a part of the

solution," states one parent. What for some is only

fodder for gossip, for others is fodder for change.

"We can't combat what we don't know," adds

another. We can't slay invisible dragons.

A parental notification

policy is a necessary first step, but know that sexual

improprieties on school property are rare - most of

the responsibility for supervision rests on parents. When

something does happen, like the bus incident, talk about

it with your children. Mistakes are teachable moments.

Convey to children that

society may have taught them that sexual behavior brings

them maturity, peer acceptance and pleasure, but what it

really brings in these tender years is regret, fear and

loneliness. Teach them that it is never too late to

reclaim purity - that just because you may have made

one mistake doesn't mean you have to do it again.

Recognize that we are

facing a societal "disconnect," an amoral

component to early sexual behavior, where even good kids

sometimes do bad things, despite being taught quite

differently at home. Oral sex is not even considered sex

viewed as "safe" sex by others, despite the

very real risk of sexually transmitted diseases.

Parents of teens who share

a peer group should form peer groups of their own for

purposes of "covering each other's backs" when

it comes to teen behavior. Parents could promise to

inform each other if they become aware of destructive

behaviors within their child's peer group, with the

understanding that feelings will not be hurt, that we

won't blame each other, or maliciously communicate our

information outside the confines of our group.

Don't be afraid to call and

check up on children when they go to another child's

house. That is not an affront to trust - it's a

policy for security. Community awareness if the first

step to deterrence, and we must all be part of the

solution.

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