If you are,

or have ever been, a Methodist, you know that summer is

fruitbasket-turnover time in the Methodist church, New

seminary graduates are assigned their first charge,

established ministers are shifted around, student

ministers (probably very nervously) approach their first

student pastorates, and everybody has covered dish

dinners, showers and all sorts of gatherings to make sure

all are settled in with a minimum of discomfort and

inconvenience.

It

sometimes is an awkward time...let's be honest

here...people and pastors don't always see eye-to-eye and

some partings are with a sigh of relief. Others are with

great sadness at losing dear friends.

I've been

reading your bulletins and church newsletters and making

notes of new faces and columns which should soon appear

on the scene in the Fayette-Coweta area. I was prompted

to chuckle when I read the Bethany Bell, the newsletter

of Bethany United Methodist Church, and the farewell

letter of Rev. Bruce Bunten to his congregation. Bruce is

moving from Fayette County to Meriwether County and the

Manchester First United Methodist Church.

I have

particularly enjoyed reading Bethany's news each week. To

be published by a small church, their newsletter is very

commendable...always newsy and appealing to read.

In this

last one, Bruce gave a fine introduction to the incoming

pastor, Rev. Mark Outlaw, then left his congregation with

a smile on their faces. I'd like to share his column with

you...and maybe make us all a bit more tolerant of this

turbulent time. Bruce says:

"I

received a newsletter from Manchester First introducing

my family to their church body. The pastor included this

description of the perfect Methodist minister and I

thought you might enjoy it.

`He

preaches exactly 15 minutes.

He condemns

sin but never upsets anyone.

He works

from 8 a.m. to midnight and is also a janitor.

He makes

$60 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a

good car, and gives $50 a week to the poor.

He is 28

years of age, and has been preaching for 30 years.

He is

wonderfully gentle and handsome.

He has a

burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all his

time with the elderly.

The perfect

United Methodist pastor smiles all the time with a

straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps

him seriously dedicated to his work.

He makes 15

daily calls on parish families, shut-ins, and

hospitalized members; spends all his time evangelizing

the unchurched, and is always in his office when needed,

If your

pastor does not measure up, simply send this letter to

six other churches that are tired of their pastor, too.

Then bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at

the top of the list. In one week, you will receive 1,643

pastors and one of them should be perfect.

Have faith

in this letter. Do not break the chain! One parish broke

the chain and got its old minister back in less than

three months!' "

Thanks,

Bruce. I'm sure that gave us all a chuckle. We wish you

all the best in your new assignment.

Until next

time...keep the faith!

<!--##############