Imagine

never having to buy another pair of sunglasses for the

rest of your life!

With my

recent purchase of the Mojave Convertible Eyewear

collection, I'm ready for any weather condition until

death do us part.

My six

lenses arrived Saturday in a nifty zippered pouch with

the fashionable black sport frames and the stylish

silvertone frames as an added bonus for placing my order

promptly.

Now I can

ski, fish, drive, garden, compute and watch television in

total comfort. If I double up the lenses, I bet I can

even see through brick buildings. Of course the lenses

are made of the highest quality polycarbonate, making

them resistant to scratching, breaking or chewing by wild

or domesticated animals. A 300-pound body builder can

even hit them with a sledgehammer and they'll remain

intact.

I'm sure

you're dying to know how to get your own Mojave shades.

Just switch on your TV Saturday morning, and after some

brief channel surfing, you too can be the proud owner of

sunglasses just like mine by picking up the phone and

making three easy payments of $19.99. Such a deal.

It's been

years since I've been seduced by a TV infomercial. My

boys have begged for the Banjo Minnow kit and various

knife collections, but I've always resisted. I admit, I

almost fell for the simulated jeweled Trifari cheetah pin

a couple months ago during an especially disturbing bout

of insomnia, but maintained self control.

The amazing

paint stick was my last tried and true purchase. The

huckster promised I could completely paint an average

size room in less time than it took to open the darn

paint can and stir. Of course, if I acted quickly, I

would also receive the mini paint stick for those

hard-to-reach spots, a paint stick extender, a how-to

video and a life time warranty.

I have to

admit, the paint stick was neat, but not speedy. In fact,

it took me longer to work my way around the living room

with the amazing paint stick, stopping every five minutes

to refill the little tube thing, than it normally did

with the cheapest roller. The amazing paint stick has

been converted into the amazing cobweb sweeper complete

with stick extender.

I expect my

Mojave eyewear will have a better life, as will I. By

using the special polarized grey lens, I will be able to

see fish underwater. The amber lens promises to make even

the darkest day sunny. My personal favorite is the ultra

mauve lens for serious TV viewing.

If I'm

lucky, the cheetah pin may still be in back inventory.

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