It's

confession time.

Some folks

go to a priest. Some seek out the altar at their church.

Some take quiet walks in the woods. Others just stop

still in their tracks and acknowledge their wrongdoings.

Me? My body

usually forces me to face the music. It's the thorn in

the flesh thing, I think, that Paul talked about. I hate

to admit it, but I actually need some degree of weakness

in order to keep me humble and obedient to my God.

Oh, I've

talked to Him about it many times. During certain seasons

of humility I become reasonably sure I can

"behave" if He will just heal my body one more

time. It gets better, and I grow stronger, and off I go

again seeking to do my own will once more at 90 miles an

hour.

And the

merry-go-round keeps turning. It took unbelievable forces

coming together in 1986 to force me to resign from the

nursing profession. I didn't really want to do it. Oh, I

wanted to write. Some day. But I did not want to leave my

job, the people I worked with, or the patients I loved

and worked for.

But I did

it. I had to. I started writing a newspaper column that

year and published a book called "From the Corners

of my Heart" in 1987. By all the standards I learned

about after I had published the book, it was a success.

Then, in

1988, two things happened that would tremendously

influence my next decade. I started The Community Health

Focus magazine, and my daddy died.

The pain I

felt over his death was so great that I needed something

to hide behind for a while. The Community Health Focus

became that thing. Of course, I continued this column in

several newspapers, but I dropped the notion of

publishing inspirational books for awhile.

I kept

telling myself God would always love me anyway, even if I

did not return to the work I knew He had called me to do.

And I believe that. I know God loves me no matter what.

However, it

makes it a wee bit easier to love one's self when we know

beyond a shadow of doubt that we are walking in His

perfect will for our lives. So, guess what?

I'm

publishing another book. It's called "What IS

Love?" and we will debut it at The Great Gay

Marketplace Festival across the street from the Cotton

Pickin' Fair May 6 and 7, in Gay, Ga. I'll be in a booth

under the pavilion signing the little book at intervals

that weekend. Come see me if you can, and take a minute

to tell me a bit about yourself.

That's what

I miss most about nursing. In that profession I knew well

the people I served. Better than they knew me, for sure.

Wow, have the tables turned! Every week I write from the

very depths of my soul to fill this small space and I

haven't a clue about the personality or joys or

heartaches of the one who reads what I write.

Now back to

the fact that it's confession time. For months, strong

forces and strange circumstances again have come together

to guide me back into book publishing. The Community

Health Focus is doing better than ever and I soon will be

turning much of the behind the scenes work over to

others.

Many of the

books are already written. The next ones to be published

following "What IS Love?" will be a trilogy

called "Leaves of Faith," "Leaves of

Hope" and "Leaves of Love." Then we hope

to follow with a bit of humor. Our books will always

support family values and encourage honest communication

between you and your God, between you and those you love,

and between you and yourself.

I won't

ever pretend that I don't write with an ulterior motive.

I do, and that motive is always to encourage better

communication and help you believe God has more answers

than you can ever imagine, if you'll just ask the right

questions.

My

confession? I've been asking wrong questions again. Going

my own way. Doing my own thing. I've been scared to

return to book publishing. Scared of the vulnerability.

Scared of the unknown. Scared I can't measure up. I, I,

I, and Me, Me, Me... Will we ever learn?

Visit with

me at the fair in Gay May 6 and 7. Or write to me

sometime at P.O. Box 246, Gay, Ga. and tell me a little

about yourself.