Forgiveness.

It's hard, isn't it?

Hard to give. Hard to

receive. Thank God for Jesus. Without Him, it would not

only be hard, it would be impossible for me.

I may have told you before.

I'm sure I probably have. Forgiveness was impossible for

me to write about for the first five or so years of my

writing career.

Folks would ask me to write

about it, and I would have to say, "I can't."

One couple asked "Why?"

Finally, I had to say,

"Because I can't forgive."

I once heard my sister say

to another who asked her forgiveness, "God forgives.

I don't."

I trembled at her words,

knowing I was no better than she. Maybe I was even worse.

I said nothing.

come a long way. And I have, too. Not only can I now

forgive. I can frequently understand with compassion

where the one is coming from who has wronged me or mine.

I've tried to figure out

how folks who do not have Jesus manage to forgive. I

can't. I think I was a pretty decent individual before I

came to know Christ as my Savior and friend. In all

honesty, I'm not sure there is a great deal of difference

in the outward me, the me that others perceive and think

they know.

I was raised to be a

Christian. I was taught to do good to and for others. And

to be good. Upbringing matters. And I turned out to be

okay, I suppose.

But you can't be trained to

be a Christian, or grow to be Christlike, without Christ.

Sooner or later, true colors show through. Becoming a

Christian is a miraculous act of grace.

Becoming a Christian

required that I recognize I was a sinner. With that

recognition came acknowledgment that Jesus Christ was and

is the Son of God who came to earth as a sacrificial lamb

to die for my sins. But I had to do more than recognize

or believe He died for me.

Died? Had I ever done

anything worth dying for? Have you? Doesn't matter,

really. Degrees of sin melted away at Calvary.

Everything changed as the

blood dripped down the beaten and bruised face and body

of the Son, and the Son cried out, "Daddy, why have

you forsaken me?" There were no big sins or little

sins as the Father turned His back on the Son, who took

upon Himself the sins of the world so that fellowship

with God and man could be restored. When that happened

degrees of sin became a non-issue.

Either we sin or we don't.

And believe me, we sin. I do and you do. When I

recognized the sacrifice Jesus Christ made for me, I

repented (became sorry for my sins and instantly wanted

to be a better person), thanked Him and asked Him to come

into my heart and life. I told Him that I could not live

without Him. That's what it had to come to for me.

Pretty words. Prayer

rituals. Sunday school. Knowing wrong from right. Trying

to do right. Being moral. None of that could cut it. I

may have been perceived as a good person, but I was

nobody special.

Today, I am special. I am a

child of the King. Joint heir with Jesus Christ to all

that Heaven holds. But still a sinner, a sinner saved by

grace.

A sinner who recognized one

day that I did not want to even draw another breath

without Jesus in my heart and life. Without Jesus as my

friend. With Jesus loving me. Without loving Him in turn.

How do I love Him in turn?

to be good. So what's different?

One difference is that I

now can forgive.

Can I do it instantly?

Immediately after another has wronged me or someone I

love? No, I'm not there yet. But I will be one day.

Right now it takes daily

prayer, a daily walking with Christ, daily crawling into

Him and cuddling up to the absolutely undefinable love He

demonstrated on Calvary. Daily remembrance of the words

he whispered from the cross, "Father, forgive them

for they know not what they do..."

Then it becomes easier to

forgive.

And when it is still hard?

What do I do then? I remember that I must forgive if I

would be forgiven. And somehow, I forgive. Because I

won't trade the peace I have in knowing and walking with

Jesus Christ for anything.

If He can forgive, then

surely, in Him, through Him and because of Him, I can

forgive, too.