If you were

in Shadow's restaurant recently and thought you saw

Richard Simmons and Arnold Schwarzenegger together, it

was just me and the owner-operator from World Gym, Dar

Thompson, having breakfast. I aim to give a regular

report, (sort of a "pump-a-logue") on my

progress since I joined the gym last November and I want

to report that I have made it to Richard Simmons status.

Dar is the one who resembles "Ah-nuld."

As we sat across from each

other, Dar eating some fresh cantaloupe, me eating a

plate of cooked animal and over easy bird-zygote, I

learned that World Gym was pretty much started by the

aforementioned Terminator himself; out in La-La land. I

am an Arnold freak, seeing every movie he has made, so I

took the opportunity sending quizzes every which way.

Dar is twice connected to

Schwarzenegger, being good friends with Arnold's nephew

from Austria and his professional connection through

World Gym. While Dar has a lot in common with the

original Conan, such as body building and acting, I, like

Richard Simmons, wear shorts too much out of context, and

have woman-curly-hair (that's why I buzz it off).

I found it interesting

having breakfast with someone from such a different

background as me. Dar grew up close to here in College

Park but actually found his claim to fame from playing

ice hockey (at the old complex in Shenandoah/Newnan)

After playing in Colorado and then Seattle, he found

himself in commercials and television. He was actually in

a Chevrolet "Like a Rock," truck commercial

during a Brave's World Series years ago. He also had

stints in "Diagnosis Murder" and "The Bold

and the Beautiful."

Not to brag, but I was on a

movie set one time. And the director walked right up to

me and told me to get the heck out of his shot. I never

saw the movie, but I think I was left on the cutting room

floor.

As we continued breakfast I

thought about what it would be like if Arnold

Schwarzenegger and Richard Simmons really had breakfast

together. It would go something like this:

"What's wrong with

you, you girly man?" Arnold says.

"The coffee's too

hot," Richard responds and then asks. "How do

you get rid of all your body hair? I have awful patches

on my back"

Arnold quips, "It is

simple... I just scald it off with hot coffee!" as

he takes Richard's cup of joe and pours it down his tank

top.

"Ahhh!" Richard

yelps like school girl at a Barbie party. "That was

so mean, Arnold. Forget about me inviting you to my `Deal

a Meal' info-mercial; I'll just call Cher."

I snap back to reality as

the Shadow's waitress slaps me back to reality.

"Finish those last six sausages," she says.

But, I don't. I am too excited about my recent progress.

To make matters even more exciting, World Gym is set to

be featured in a "bit" with Arnold at the

Academy Awards. I wasn't invited for the filming though.

A lot of people don't know

it, but in addition to World Gym's immense line of state

of the art equipment, they have a kid's workout area with

scaled-down machines for children aged 8 to 13. They

offer a program, not about building bulk but about giving

these younger kids flexibility, stamina and, most

importantly, confidence.

And, it's not only for

kids. My confidence gets a boost too, every time I sneak

into the kid's area and challenge them to "strength

battles." I beam with pride when I can do the two

extra reps and show some 8-year-old girl how to be a man.

With confident intact, I am

looking forward to moving up to the next stage of

"pumpitude": beyond Richard Simmons status and

to the level of Bea Arthur. And maybe if I work just hard

enough, next time I'll be able to take that 13-year-old.