Guess where

the following line comes from: "I would like to

thank my Mamma, my parole officer and the good Lord

above:" 1. Any Pro Football Player. 2. Jim Bakker in

the new one-man Las Vegas production of his life story:

"Free Jimmy: The Adventure Home." 3. Every

single acceptance speech at every single Country Music

Awards Show.

Country music is more

popular now than ever before. From its roots on "The

Porter Wagoner Show" and "Hee Haw,"

country music is now a billion dollar industry sporting a

new, young crop of too-cool artists. It has been quite a

while since the Haggar Twins have flexed their necks and

receding hairlines, but there's still a lot in common

between the days of yore and these days of more.

The first similarity is

"The Big Hair Issue." Who can forget watching

the growth of Dolly Parton's hair (among other things) as

her career reached full development. Reba McIntire

continued the trend and Dottie West culminated the art

form with the now famous "Westinghouse

Incident" (she sued the company when her teased

coiffure was chopped off by one of their ceiling fans).

Nowadays, country music is

still big on hair, if not just about volume. Shania Twain

sports bountiful tresses. Wynona, well, she has tresses

and she's just bountiful. The Dixie Chicks sport the

"off the supermarket shelf blond" look.

Even with all its

contemporary leanings, to be country means to wear a

cowboy hat. Garth and Alan and John Michael wouldn't be

caught dead without a closet full of Stetsons. Buck Owens

would be proud. Clint wears them to give that mysterious

look. Terry Clark wears them for that sexy look. Dwight

wears them so not to give that "Hair Club for Men

Look." As in the words of the ever-brimmed John

Wayne, "A man without a hat is like Ru Paul without

a boa."

There is also the

similarity between old country and new concerning,

"the tragedy gives soul" syndrome. To have

depth and substance in country music, you must have

real-life disaster in your everyday experience. Forget

imagination or technique, just revel in death, divorce or

a defunct transmission.

In the old days it was

simple. Conway would whine about lost love. Today, Trisha

twangs on the travesty of cell phone reception. Willie

would sing about the minutia of being crazy for a woman.

Leanne Rymes belts out the pains of paying mall prices.

Well, not quite, but there

does seem to be a low threshold of emotional pain

recently. Sure, Lorrie has had real suffering, but for

every one of her, there are five Lyles singing the blues

for agreeing to that prenuptial agreement Julia Roberts

made him sign.

Whether yesterday or today,

country music lives and thrives. Deep down it has always

been built on the yearnings and soul of the common man.

No matter the fashion or the expression, country music

will always echo the heart and hurt of anyone who had to

work for a living... or had to work for love.

And when you hear that

perfect song you should feel like the writer once said,

"I either want a bottle in front of me or a frontal

lobotomy."

[Visit Billy Murphy on

the Internet at https://billymurphy.homepage.com .]