People are

getting stupider and stupider. This I have observed.

I know rock singers have

never been the smartest people in the world. For every

genius Paul McCartney there have been 10 David Lee Roths.

It has gotten much worse.

Today, musician IQs are

lower than Planet Hollywood stock prices. If you had the

opportunity to watch the MTV Video Awards like I did, you

might have noticed a slightly moronic group of people. I

find it quite ironic that the people who are famous for

singing words, can't speak properly. In less than 30

seconds of interview among three singers, I counted a

total of 18 times they said "You know what'm

sayin'?" A lifetime achievement award for someone

named "Puff Daddy?" These must be the people

who liked "Blair Witch Project."

Closer to home, I was at

the Eckerds on the corner of Ga. highways 54 and 74 the

other day. I had some pictures done in their one-hour

lab. First of all, I don't understand something. They

have one-hour service and they have service that takes a

few days. Who are the people using the two-day service?

Do they have a phobia? I mean, do they say, "No,

no... that is too soon! I don't want my pictures back

that quick"?

Do they fear there is some

power of satan at work here? Like they will have to trade

one of their children or something? Or do they just feel

stress, worrying that their pictures are there at Eckerds

waiting and waiting. Like grandma is in some picture in

some pack saying, "What is wrong with her, why

doesn't she pick us up? I bet she is just laying around

the house."

Anyway, I am at Eckerds and

helping me are Phil and Carrie, very capable people in

the photo section and someone comes up and complains

because their pictures are out of focus. Hmmm. What could

have caused that? I just wanted Phil or Carrie to lean

over very nicely and say, "Oh, I see the problem...

You stink. You are a bad photographer!" But, this is

one of the few times, that customer service was above par

and the lady was treated nicely. Of course I just had to

lean over and say, "If I had kids that looked like

that, I would photograph them out of focus, too."

I just think we are in

serious need of these genes they have injected into lab

rats to make them geniuses. To show how smart the mice

are now, they have been pulling the, "Look, doc, you

have something on your tie," then hitting him on the

nose trick. Just think, they could inject these genes

into Ricky Martin to raise him to the intellectual level

of a garden vegetable. "Livin' la Vidi Okra."

Of course, I am really not

the one to judge. I do stupid things every day, like

expect to get out of the post office in less than 30

minutes or expect to get the right food in my bag at the

McDonald's drive-thru.

And am I stupid to think

that Taco Bell has used that little Mexican hairless in

their commercials for maybe like six months more than

they should have?

Am I stupid to think that

no matter how funny that "Will and Grace"

sitcom is, it's still about a guy who gets naked with

other men? Just how funny is the largest demographic

group that dies of AIDS supposed to be?

Am I stupid to think that

anyone cares about my soapbox? Of course I am.