We have

done it again. We have celebrated yet another year

together. Tuesday it was 31 years that Daniel and I have

been married.

Whew!

Sometimes

it feels like only yesterday that I endured one of the

worst days of my life. That's right, the day I married

was not a good day. It was at least 100 degrees and that

might have been in the shade. I had a headache that

defies description to this day. I was three months

pregnant and had absolutely no assurance that I was doing

the right thing.

That was

before I said "I do."

As we drove

north and the sun sank in the west it grew cooler. My

headache got better. The pregnancy? That stayed with me

for another six months. And the idea of commitment that

had been absent prior to the vows began to set in.

On that

drive northward, I prayed for wisdom and peace and the

courage to stand by my commitment to my husband. God

hears and answers sincere prayers.

The average

person felt we were one of those couples doomed to become

a divorce statistic. Everything was stacked against us,

they said. We had not known one another long enough. We

were starting our life together as three instead of two.

They said we wouldn't make it.

The next

time you are inclined to listened to what

"they" may be saying, remember this column.

It's been 31 years and we are still together.

In fact,

just like there are times that it seemed like only

yesterday when we started our journey together there also

are times when it seems like we have been together

forever. Some contradiction, huh?

How have we

pulled it off? By being willing to take commitment

seriously and by the grace of God, and not necessarily in

that order. Marriage is not easy. Nothing worthwhile is.

There is no

denying that it all began with sex. The physical

attraction was the motivating factor and we did not take

time to know one another. Once the "I dos" were

said we resolved to do just that - get to know one

another, that is. We are still working on the project.

For the most part it's been fun.

At times it

was for the children that I remained committed. Then

there were those moments when I just hung in there while

I tried to decide who I was. Yes, the search continues

well past puberty.

So, even if

you don't do it all in the order it probably should be

done, marriage can still work.

Would I

count my marriage a success? Absolutely. I don't quite

know when it happened, but today Daniel is my best

friend. We have a history together and we are proud of

it. But more than anything we are thankful for it.

On our

honeymoon we stopped by a nursing home in North Georgia

where Daniel's sister worked. She introduced us as

newlyweds to a resident there. The little old lady beckon

us close to her and admonished us to never let the sun go

down on our wrath. "Don't ever go to sleep

angry," she said.

I cannot

begin to tell you how many times over the years I wanted

to go back and shake that dear little old lady and make

her take back her admonition. Why? Because Daniel took

her advice as the gospel which I suppose it was.

Any normal,

healthy woman will tell you in a minute however that a

good burst of anger cannot and should not be turned off

just because the sun is going down. Not hardly. We much

prefer to nurture our anger, to let it smolder and become

all it should be. Daniel, however, has never allowed me

that luxury.

Granted, we

have had more than one sleepless night. But we have

seldom gone to sleep angry. The only time I have ever

been able to hold on to a good spell of anger was if I

somehow managed not to let him know how mad I was. Now

tell me how much fun that could be.

It's odd

though. Today as I write this I cannot recall the last

time I was angry with Daniel. It's strange how getting to

know someone, understanding them, and being their friend

can cast such a different light on everything.

<!--

-----------