My wife

Julie and I just got back from camp. We were program

directors for a three-day "First Timers Camp"

which consists of first through third graders. The point

of the camp is to provide a pleasurable first-time

experience for kids so they will come back to camp over

and over.

Julie and I have been

program directors for Woodland Christian Camp together

and separately for many years, ranging from elementary to

high school ages. I can never come back from camp without

a sleeping bag full of stories.

First of all, being a movie

buff, I have noticed that the cabin full of kids I have,

no matter what age, are always a mirror image of the

typical military grunts you will find in any war picture.

Like "Saving Private Ryan" or "Full Metal

Jacket" or "Stripes," for that matter.

There is always the loose

cannon that is about to snap at any moment. Then, there's

the guy with the nickname like Snake or Killer. And of

course there is always the guy that all the others make

fun of, that has the deep-South accent. There's also

always the guy who lives for when he can finally get

home, pulling out a tattered picture of his mom, or dog

or something to otherwise live for.

The kid stories from camp

are always the best, too. My favorite from years ago is

one where this little boy got stung by a bee and we have

him in the nurses station being attended to. The nurse

pulls out "Adolf's Meat Tenderizer" to put on

his sting. The kid then asks, "How does it

work?" To which the nurse gives this long discourse

on how the meat tenderizer powder has a chemical in it

that draws away the pain of the sting from the bee. After

some profound silence the boy finally says, "I

meant, how does it work on meat."

The best, true incident

this time around at camp was when a camper came up to me

and told me that a friend had thrown up during lunch. As

I looked around for some minion to send in to do the

dirty work, the concerned camper continued. He proceeded

to tell us that he friend had a loose tooth and it had

come out during his... uh... regurgitation, so they were

all looking for the lost tooth. Gross but true.

Our daughter Olivia, who is

almost 4, gave us a lot of fun by visiting camp, too. She

made all the announcements with me and she stayed one

night in the boy's cabin to get a firsthand feel for

sleeping in a hot, hard bunk. She took particular pride

in repeating every instruction I made to Snake and the

gang.

After lights out and I gave

the guys instructions that I didn't want to hear another

"peep," they, of course, continued moving,

whispering, etc. Olivia quickly and quietly instructed me

that the boys were "peeping." She then

proceeded to tell me that when she got to come by herself

to camp, she wanted to "stay in the bunk with the

little kid Nicholas."

Despite my coronary, the

heat and the thunderstorms that wiped out two swimming

sessions and one canoeing session, we had a great camp

and typically most of the teaching was coming out of the

mouths of babes.

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