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Christmas

columns don't

come easy

Sallie

Satterthwaite

Lifestyle

Columnist

When people ask if it's hard to come up with column ideas week after

week, I snort derisively. You've gotta be kidding, I gloat. Can't beat

the ideas off with a stick.

Except when a holiday looms.

I suppose it's a problem common to those from whom regular offerings are expected we

need to produce something patriotic for the 4th of July, or romantic for Valentine's, or thankful for

Thanksgiving.

Or Christmas-y.

The preacher certainly faces this challenge, and so do the musician, the storekeeper, the

stand-up comic, even the cook.

The preacher must think of yet another way to tell the story every

member of her flock has heard since infancy. The story is so simple, yet

so profound how can she repeat it in a manner

that commands attention?

The musician must try to remember whether it was last year or two

years ago when everybody everywhere had Gesu Bambino on their program. And

if he does Christmas music during Advent, he'll hear from the purists who

like me want to save the emotion of "Oh Little Town

of Bethlehem" for Christmas Eve at the earliest. If he holds out, in conformity with

the church season, he'll hear from those who have been tearing up over

"I'll Be Home For Christmas" since Halloween.

Likewise, the merchant. To get a jump on the competition, he feels

he must get his store a-tinseled while the jack-o-lanterns are

still grinning, knowing it's tacky and hating himself for it.

His dilemma: how, in a shopping mall, can he commercialize on the season

without commercializing on the season?

Nowadays e-jokes flow in such profusion few of us even read them

any more. I have to admit that as a non-admirer of the lady, I did laugh

at the Internet-disseminated Martha Stewart

Christmas Holiday Calendar.

Dec. 15: "Replace air in mini-van tires with Glade holiday scents

in case tires are shot out at mall."

Dec. 21: "Drain city reservoir, refill with mulled cider,

orange slices, and cinnamon sticks."

At least the would-be comics have a never-ending supply of material

as new personalities and events emerge each year. Just deliver us from

Bill and Monica Christmas jokes! (Did you hear the one about the three

wise men who....?)

The cook's job may be a bit easier, too, for the opposite reason.

Some holidays demand exactly the same meal every year for them to qualify

as holidays. Grilled burgers on the 4th, turkey on

Thanksgiving, black-eyed peas and greens on New Year's no-brainers all.

But pity the poor columnist who has poured her heart into

Christmas wishes for her readers year after year, and finds herself in a

quandary similar to the preacher's especially since I usually

adapt the same as a family newsletter.

Rereading columns of past Christmases, I find only one or two worthy

of faxing off to the Pulitzer committee as Martha did on Dec. 4, and

too recent to repeat.

So again the anguish: How to stir hearts, how to invoke a tear or two,

or an up-welling of peace on earth and good will in the bosoms of those

who slip the plastic sleeve off their newspaper and

expect to be moved?

How to catch up old friends with the incredibly good news our

family wants to share this year, knowing many of them are in despair as deep

as our joy is high?

If the advancing years do nothing else, at least they infuse us with

a bit more sense, a trifle more wisdom, a modicum of restraint. I

can't blather on and on in red and green script about our

happiness, when a friend is dealing with her mother's diagnosis of Alzheimer's.

When another is living from lab report to lab report, from transfusion

to transfusion.

When a family will consider itself lucky if they get to share

Christmas dinner with a son in jail.

When the circle around table or tree has an agonizing gap in it

this year.

When children are hauled to the next county for two Christmases in

12 hours, as per their parents' custody arrangements.

When teens are struggling with the loss of their whole world in the

wake of their family's moving to another state.

In the presence of grief, happiness must not be flaunted. But joy is

more than happiness, and the joy is there, underlying even sorrow.

There is no new and clever way to say it. God came to earth as a

helpless child, and nothing was ever the same again.

That's all that's certain. No guarantees of happiness, no

miraculous cures.

Only the steady, unwavering promise that God is with us, Emanuel.

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