What You Should Tell Your Kids Before Applying to College: Written from an 18-Year-Old’s Perspective

Hello everyone. I am currently a high school senior who just finished applying to colleges, and I want to point out a few things I think parents should tell their kids before they begin the college application process. I truly believe that applying to college is a major growth stage for teenagers. At least for me, it has been the first time I deeply explored myself, my identity, and my relationship with my family.

First, please talk to your kids about your financial situation.

My family kept their financial issues from me. They never told me what was actually affordable. Because of that, I ended up applying to many private schools. Some of them were not even realistic choices because my parents avoided discussing our finances. When it finally came time to talk about paying for college, that’s when they told me the truth. By then, I had already spent a lot of money on application fees and invested so much time writing essays.

Please sit down and have an honest conversation with your child. Tell them what you can actually afford. Don’t ask them how much they think they will need, they don’t know. Run the Net Price Calculator together. College costs more than just tuition. There are books, housing, social activities, and countless hidden expenses. It can feel like a financial black hole.

When I say be transparent, I mean literally tell them your budget. Don’t be vague. Don’t make them feel guilty. Don’t avoid the conversation. Sit down at the table and just talk to them.

Second, talk to your kids about what they want to do in life.

I know this may feel early, and honestly, most 17- or 18-year-olds don’t fully know what they want yet. I don’t fully know either. Yes, you can change your major in college. But many industries require early internships and experience. Starting earlier is better than regretting it later.

Try to help them build a broad understanding of what they might want to pursue. Parents understand the job market and the economy better than teenagers do. Use that experience to guide them, not control them. Explore different pathways together. Ask whether they are interested in a research-heavy career or something more industry-based that relies on networking. Help them think about the lifestyle they want.

And yes, money matters. If finances are limited, help them find a balance between passion and practicality.

Lastly, please take care of their mental health.

The college application process is incredibly stressful. The social pressure is overwhelming. Watching people get into “better” schools with lower grades or test scores can feel unfair and discouraging. The U.S. admissions process is holistic. Schools consider many different factors, including income and socioeconomic background. It is not purely merit-based, and it is not always predictable.

Teenagers are more fragile than adults realize. We need reassurance, not comparison.

I want to leave one final note.

College is a place for you to achieve your dreams and goals. College should not become the dream itself.