If you’ve ever wondered what a teen lesbian date in Peachtree City looks like, here I am — third-wheeling it in real time. Warning: expect too much hand-holding, Starbucks chaos, and one very dramatic bee encounter.
10:00 a.m. — The Starbucks Situation
We meet at Starbucks. I order my drink like a normal person. Jamie and Ella? They’re giggling over whether to get one drink with two straws or two drinks with one shared straw (romance, apparently).
Jamie insists she’s “not nervous,” but her hands are literally shaking. Ella strolls in seven minutes late like she’s the star of a teen rom-com. “Sorry, I couldn’t decide between eyeliner wings or full gay panic,” she says.
They both order caramel macchiatos, of course. Then they just sit there, smiling at each other for five minutes straight while I sip my latte like an unpaid extra.
12:30 p.m. — Thrifting at Clothes Less Traveled
Next stop: Clothes Less Traveled. I swear the moment we walk in, they’re already holding hands and calling everything “so us.”
Jamie finds a sparkly jacket that looks like Elton John’s concert leftover. Ella goes, “You’d totally pull that off,” and Jamie actually blushes like BLUSHES. Meanwhile, I’m just over here clutching a $3 lamp and questioning my life choices.
They end up buying matching frog plushies named Gayle and Gerald. Jamie says they’re “symbolic.” I say they’re “codependent.”
3:00 p.m. — The Peachtree City Lake Picnic Disaster
We spread a blanket by the lake, snacks in hand, wind in our hair, the whole movie scene setup. Then came The Bee.
Ella tries to be brave. Jamie screams. I scream. The bee wins.
Somehow, after the chaos, they’re lying on the blanket again, holding hands, whispering about sunsets and college dreams, while I’m ten feet away fighting off gnats and wondering how I got demoted from “friend” to “nature documentary camerawoman.”
6:30 p.m. — Duck-Approved Romance
Sunset rolls in, golden light, birds singing. Perfect. Until a duck waddles over and stares at them mid–almost-kiss.
Ella whispers, “He’s judging us.”
Jamie says, “Maybe he ships us.”
I say, “He’s probably waiting for fries.”
Then they kiss anyway. The duck leaves. I clap.
Final Thoughts from Your Favorite Third Wheel
Dating at seventeen isn’t about perfection, it’s about laughing, running from bees, and maybe finding someone who still likes you after you spill Starbucks on their shoes.
As for me? 10/10 would be third-wheel again. Next time, I’m bringing bug spray and noise-canceling headphones for flirting.








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