“When God Seems Distant”

You’ve probably heard the old story of the husband and wife who were driving along, and the wife says, “Honey, do you remember back when we used to sit really close to each other in the car. We’d be riding together, and we’d cuddle up right next to each other.”

The husband said, “Yep. I sure do.”

The wife asked, “Why don’t we do that anymore?”

The husband responded, “You tell me. I haven’t moved.”

When it comes to our relationship with God, if it seems like God is not as close as He once was, who’s the one who moved? Who’s the one who drifted away?

Know this: God hasn’t moved. He’s right where He always is. Present, available, and accessible.

We’re the ones who have allowed distance to come between us and God. Possibly we’ve lost our focus and become distracted in our relationship. Possibly we’ve grown complacent or comfortable with our current spiritual state. Or maybe the busyness of life has mixed up our priorities. The fact is, we’re as close to God as we want to be.

The reality is we don’t always feel as close to God as we’d like.  Author Philip Yancey wrote, “Any relationship involves times of closeness and times of distance, and in a relationship with God, no matter how intimate, the pendulum will swing from one side to the other.” 

Most of us experience mountains and valleys in our spiritual journey, and it’s normal to have times when God seems distant. One church father referred to these experiences as “the dark night of the soul.” Henri Nouwen called them “the ministry of absence.” A. W. Tozer called these seasons “the ministry of the night.”

Mission leader Floyd McClung in Finding Friendship with God wrote, “You wake up one morning and all your spiritual feelings are gone. You pray, but nothing happens. You rebuke the devil, but it doesn’t change anything. You go through spiritual exercises, you have your friends pray for you, you confess every sin you can imagine, then go around asking forgiveness of everyone you know. You fast . . . still nothing. You begin to wonder how long this spiritual gloom might last. Days? Weeks? Months?  Will it ever end?”

Even David the Psalmist cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? I cry in the daytime, but you do not hear, and in the night season, and am not silent” (Psalm 22:1, 2).  

Of course, God was right there, because He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). But to David at that moment, God was far, far away. These dark stretches can be blessings when they cause us to struggle and, as a result, grow stronger in the Lord.

When God seems distant, how do we cope?   

First, walk by faith and not by sight. Keep trusting that God is still right there with you, just as He promised. 

Second, keep loving God and relying on Him even though He seems far away.  

Third, stay faithful to the little things that bring you closer to God:  daily prayer and meditating on scripture, daily Bible reading and small group Bible study, gathering for worship each Sunday, finding ways to serve God each day.

Fourth, deliberately seek God. How? 

*Seek God exclusively. “Your face, Lord, will I seek” (Psalm 27:8). 

*Seek God desperately. “As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for you, O God” (Psalm 42:1).

*Seek God expectantly. “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).

Fifth, refuse to grow discouraged.

A woman went to her pastor, and shared no matter what she did, she didn’t feel close to the Lord. She worshipped, she had a morning devotional and prayer time, she visited the homebound. She consistently did everything she’d always done to stay close to God. 

She admitted, “I pray, and it seems like my prayers go no further than the ceiling.”

The pastor responded, “Yes, but you’re still praying. That’s great!  You haven’t given up. You must keep doing what you know will bring you back to a close relationship with God.” She was still trusting God, even when He seemed distant.

So must we! Thankfully, God hasn’t gone anywhere, and He never will. (David L. Chancey lives in Fayetteville, Georgia, and serves as transitional pastor of Eagles Landing of Griffin, Griffin, Georgia. He enjoys preaching, writing, and time with family. Check out his books and other writings at www.davidchancey.com).