She would be home soon, and it was important that I choose correctly: red or white.
No, I’m not talking about having an adult beverage. The Wife doesn’t ask me to do much, so when she asked if I’d go see a movie with her, it was an easy, “Yes.”
Then she told me what movie and it was an even easier, “No.” I said, “I’m a guy. Unless our granddaughters are around, this guy doesn’t play with Barbies. And we certainly don’t go sit through an entire movie about her. I’ll just wait until we can stream it at home — then not watch it, go into another room, and watch the news channel that shall not be mentioned.”
I laughed at my little joke. The Wife? She didn’t.
Assuring me it was a good movie and the actor who plays Ken might even win an Academy Award, I finally agreed. Besides, a movie where Ken is really the star? How could I refuse?
Before leaving for work, she asked me not to do too much and not to get dirty. The home improvements could wait until another day. After all, a date night of dinner and a movie was a special event — even if it was a Barbie movie.
My knee was still sore from the week of painting baseboards. She was right, a day or two of rest would do wonders for it. Besides, the home improvements wouldn’t go anywhere. They would still be waiting on me.
I knew I should rest.
I knew I should be kind to myself.
But then again …
Boys will be boys.
Being left home all day by myself, what did I do? I did too much, my knee hurt worse than it had that morning, and I got all covered with sawdust. Just before The Wife got home, I thought a good hot shower was in order. Perhaps she wouldn’t notice I worked too hard and did too much.
She noticed.
In my defense, I simply love doing home improvements and getting dirty. A paint brush, hammer, or power tool in my hand and being worn out by the end of the day? I’m in my happy place. And if I paint something the wrong color, build things that are a little bit off, or knock down one too many walls? Even better.
That just means I get to do it all again the next day.
If it concerns electrical, plumbing, or carpentry, I can spend all day doing it. And, if I don’t know how, I’ll spent hours watching YouTube home improvement videos, and soon I’ll be an expert. Home improvement is a never-ending project, and after eighteen years, we’re still not finished improving ours. And I’m just happy with that.
But what does any of this have to do with choosing between red or white? Read on, Dear Reader, we’re almost there.
When The Wife got back home from work, I was still trying to decide which shirt would be more manly for me to wear to see a Barbie movie. Limping back to the closet, I pulled out both a red shirt and a white one. She said, “Either would be fine. Did too much today, didn’t you?” Without waiting for my feeble explanation, she added “Why don’t you just wear both?”
This time I listened to her and did exactly what she said. I put back the red and white ones, and after digging around in my closet, I found the perfect shirt. In fact, I’ve only worn it twice before — at our granddaughters’ baby showers. Watching the new Barbie movie (I really mean the new Ken movie), I’ll fit right in with everyone else.
So, what color of shirt did I actually wear? For the answer, just mix together red and white.
Yes, this manly man looks pretty in pink.
[Rick Ryckeley has been writing stories weekly in The Citizen since 2001.]
