Ask Margar-etiquette about Roommate Living

Dear Margar-etiquette,

I get along with my roommate, but we have very different living styles. Sometimes that makes sharing a space challenging. What’s the best way for us to create a more peaceful and considerate home together?

Sincerely,

Seeking Harmony

Dear Harmony,

First of all—congratulations! If you “get along” with your roommate, you’re already halfway to success. Many people can’t even say that much. The real challenge, as you’ve discovered, is that no two people live exactly the same way. One person’s “cozy lived-in” is another person’s “oh no, the clutter is winning.”

Here are a few ways to keep the peace and maybe even laugh through the differences:

• Schedule a Roommate Summit. Not a dramatic showdown, just a sit-down where you each get to share what matters most. (Think of it as diplomacy, not debate.)
  
• Pick your battles. Does it really matter if shoes live by the door? Or is it only the week-old pizza box in the fridge that deserves a firm “no more”?
  
• Make agreements official. Chores, quiet hours, guest policies—when they’re written down, nobody can claim amnesia later.
  
• Leave space for individuality. You don’t have to be twins to be good roommates. A little compromise plus a little “you do you” goes a long way.
  

Remember: roommates don’t have to live the same way, they just have to live together respectfully. A dash of humor, a sprinkle of patience, and a strong sense of “this too shall pass” are the secret ingredients to surviving—and maybe even enjoying—roommate life.

With consideration,

Margar-etiquette