Time is Slipping Away

The most valuable commodity in this world is time, and the most precious of mine has been spent with you. Sadly, even though each day contains the same number of hours as when you were born, lately our time together seems to diminish with each new sunset. Can’t say I’m fond of that, but it has been of my own choosing.

When you turned twelve, I made a conscious decision that affected our relationship forever. My role now is to be near, but also to fade into the background and watch you from afar as other things play a more central role in your life. 

Confusing? 

Yes, it’s been a confusing time for both of us. You’re becoming a young lady, and watching from afar has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. It’s been said, “If you truly love something, let it go.”

At first, you’ve hardly noticed the change. This is as it should be. You’re too busy living your life and filling the void with friends, academics and sports. The degree of separation between us exists for a reason. Being raised to be independent one day means just that. You must become independent. You need the freedom to fail, recover, make mistakes, and hopefully learn from them.

Even though I’m fading into the background of your life, I’m waiting to help whenever you call. Whether it’s with a listening ear, sage advice, or a reassuring hug, I’ll be here, my Little One, as I have always been. Since holding you in my arms the very first time in the hospital on the day you were born, I’ve kept this promise. You looked up with those clear, blue eyes full of wonder, and I made a solemn promise to do anything for you. To provide you whatever you needed in life. And although you will never say it, right now what you need is for me to take a step back. 

I hope one day you can do the same for your children, and if you’re as blessed as I have been, your grandchildren also. Then, around the time they reach the age of twelve, if you are wise, you too will take a step back and fade into the background of their lives. Not because you must, but because you remember back to The Now and know that you should. It will be one of the most difficult decisions you’ll have to make. But you must give them the chance, like I’ve given you, to become the person they are meant to be. It’s only then that you’ll realize what I know all too well.

Your time together is slowly slipping away.

And for those of you who have children and have not yet reached this point in your life, I assure you. It’s coming. Change is coming, but the love will always be there. It feels like I will lose her forever, but deep down I know that is not so. You see, I’ve been through this all before. As hard as it is to read this prose, it was even harder to write because I know firsthand that it’s true. Just because the truth is difficult to read, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t write about it. Right?

As sure as I am that the distance between us will slowly become greater, I also know something else. I know she’ll come back one day. And when she does, I will be here, ready to listen and be a part of her life once again. At that moment, our relationship will be closer than ever. Just hope that’s not too many years in the future because… 

Time is slowly slipping away.