Dear Mark,

As a parent of a high school junior, I’m realizing how quickly this next chapter is approaching. It feels like just yesterday we were navigating middle school science fairs, and now we’re talking about college essays, application deadlines, and “reach” versus “safety” schools.

Here’s the thing — my student is doing their part: keeping up with grades, exploring interests, and starting to think seriously about where they might want to go. But as a parent, I’m not always sure what my role should look like in this process. I want to be supportive without hovering, informed without micromanaging.

What are some practical, meaningful ways I can support my high school junior as they prepare for college — especially in a way that empowers rather than overwhelms them?

I know this is their journey, but I also know how important these next steps are. I want to help guide them through it — not just logistically, but emotionally too.

Sincerely,

Walking the Line Between Supportive and Overbearing

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Dear Walking the Line,

First of all — just by asking this question, you’re already doing something very right. The fact that you’re aware of the balance between guiding and letting go is half the battle. Junior year is a bridge year — part student, part adult-in-the-making — and your presence matters more than you know.

You’re not alone in wondering what actually to do as a parent during this season, so here are some real, actionable ways you can show up without overstepping:

1. Be the Project Manager (Behind the Scenes)

Your teen is the CEO of their college journey — but every good CEO needs a great project manager. You can help by tracking dates (SAT/ACT, college fairs, essay workshops, application deadlines) and setting reminders. Share a family calendar or use a simple checklist so you’re not always “nagging,” but still helping them stay on track.

2. Host the Non-Judgmental Brainstorm Sessions

Start conversations without pressure. Ask open-ended questions like:
“What kind of environment do you picture yourself in?”
“What classes make you lose track of time?”
Your role isn’t to solve, but to reflect — like a mirror that helps them see more clearly.

3. Normalize Uncertainty

Most juniors don’t have it all figured out — and they shouldn’t. Let them know it’s okay not to know where they want to go or what they want to study yet. Instead of pushing for answers, help them explore questions. Visit various colleges, sit in on virtual info sessions, or just grab coffee and daydream together.

4. Model Healthy Boundaries Around Stress

They’re going to feel the pressure — from peers, school, social media. What they need from you is calm confidence. If they see you getting anxious, they’ll absorb that. Stay steady. Remind them that there are many paths to success, none of which are one-size-fits-all.

5. Be Their Emotional Buffer, Not the Admissions Coach

Resist the urge to edit every essay or rewrite their resume (it’s actually best to stay clear of this altogether). Instead, offer to read things aloud with them, listen for voice and clarity, ask thoughtful questions, and suggest, not tell. Be their sounding board, not their proofreader-in-chief.

6. Celebrate the Small Wins

This process is long, and the milestones can be subtle. Celebrate when they finish a tough class, submit their first application, or even schedule a college tour. That kind of encouragement builds confidence and momentum.

7. Stay Curious, Not Controlling

It’s easy to slip into planning mode. But instead of saying, “Have you applied to X school yet?” try: “What schools have been standing out to you lately?” Curiosity keeps the door open — and it keeps your relationship strong.

You’re not just helping them apply to college — you’re helping them enter adulthood. That’s no small thing. And when your child looks back one day, they might not remember every deadline, but they will remember how they felt in this season: supported, respected, and seen.

You’ve got this — and more importantly, they’ve got you in their corner.

Warmly,

Mark