Mr. Rosemond, this past week I read your column titled “Stop Pampering, Indulging, Cocooning Kids“ in our local newspaper, The Citizen.
I certainly agree with one of your main arguments: persistence, disappointment, and personal responsibility are absolutely critical in the development of healthy and resilient children. But I don’t understand why you chose to deliver that very important message through a line of reasoning that managed to offend and patronize an entire generation of hardworking mothers.
You could have used your voice and expertise to encourage and teach mothers a valuable lesson about drawing out the inherent strength in their children through a bit of “benign neglect.”
Rather you used this as a opportunity to shame young mothers into thinking that all of their efforts done in earnest and in love are producing the next generation of mental instability.
Imagine the impact you could have had on the overprotective, coddling mother had you written an article entitled, “Relax, Mom, your children are stronger than you realize.” How liberating that type of article would have been on the mother who thinks she has to be everything for her children.
Instead, following the logic in your column, it sounds like you believe that the mental health crisis among teenagers and children has been cause by moms who care a little too much. (I also think it is interesting that you did not mention the role, or absence of the role, of fathers at all on the mental health of children.)
You are trying to help mothers realize they are not solely responsible for their child’s well-being, yet you solely blame mothers, particularly those trying the hardest, for children’s lack of well-being.
This is the first thing I have ever read by you. After a quick internet search, I have no doubt you care deeply for the parents you are trying to support through your writing. I hope in the future you will be more careful with your words and the implications they may have, especially on perhaps the hardest working, under appreciated, behind-the-scenes heroines of our society.
From a mother of four,
Whitney Drake
Tyrone, Ga.
