There are two types of people in the world: those who look at the world and see the positive and those who see the negative.
Sure, “in-betweeners” do exist, but only as a singularity in nature. Once joined with a negative or positive, they quickly take on the personality of their long-term partner.
If a positive person marries a positive person, their life is simply wonderful. The sky is bluer, the air is fresher, and even the birds sing louder. Together they can meet any challenge. Their life is full of laughter, joy, and all the things Christmas specials are made of. Positive people stay married to each other because to do otherwise would be negative.
It’s a very different story if two negative people marry.
Mr. Myers was my 10th-grade math teacher at Briarwood High, home of the Mighty Buccaneers. The entire year he taught us two negatives made a positive. In math, this may have been right, but in real life if two negative people marry, it’s all but a positive thing.
Unless, of course, you believe that it will positively be a bad thing if this occurs. In that case, you and Mr. Myers are correct.
Negative people feed off of each other and, believe it or not, become even more negative. You may know couples like this.
No matter how much good happens in their lives, they’re still miserable. Their dire predictions soon become self-fulfilling. Think negative thoughts, believe negative things will happen, and sooner or later, they will.
When you find yourself around people like this, I have but one suggestion: Run away as fast as you can!
Negativity is like a black hole in space. It’ll suck in all who happen to come near, never to be seen or heard from again. Eventually all that negativity wears on a person, and they start to get sick.
Don’t believe me? Here’s a little test. Go to any business, find the person who calls in sick all the time, and you will find the most negative, miserable person employed there.
For the most part, negative people are hard to pull apart. They will stay together in their misery. Unless, of course, one of them meets a super negative — then the attraction is so strong a split will occur. The split sends the lone negative person spinning out of control, usually ending them up in jail.
Don’t believe me, again? Visit any jail. There’s not one positive person incarcerated.
Luckily, I’ve found the rarest person in the world to spend the rest of my life with: a super positive. A super positive literally lights up a room when they walk into it. And people gravitate towards them.
You’ve seen them at parties; they’re the ones in the middle of the group of people laughing. So much positive energy comes off them that you actually feel better about yourself just being near — or being married to them.
So what happens when a super positive marries a somewhat negative? She turns that person into a positive. Mr. Myers, I guess the last 11 years of marriage has proven you were wrong — a positive and negative equals two positives.
Unfortunately, super positives do have one drawback – their energy is soon depleted and needs to be recharged regularly. Hang on, my love; our trip to Asheville will be here soon. You’ll have five days to recharge.
The Wife is currently taking quantum statistics for one of her doctoral classes. I wanted her to ask the professor if, on a quantum level, two negatives still make a positive or if they just make a black hole and suck everything good out of each other and all who come in contact with them.
She laughed and said, “I’m positive; I’m not going to ask him.”
See, I told you. She’s a super positive.
[Rick Ryckeley, who lives in Senoia, has been a firefighter for more than two decades and a columnist for The Citizen since 2001. His email is email@example.com.]