Ask Margar-etiquette about Reviews and Surveys

Dear Margar-etiquette,

After every purchase, appointment, meal, online order, and customer service call, I’m asked to rate my experience. I didn’t sign up to be an evaluator or a critic. Are people’s jobs, promotions, or bonuses on the line here? Has our review culture changed the way we treat one another?

Sick of Surveys

Dear Sick,

Yes, reviews have changed the way we move in society. I believe we may have forgotten some of the simpler ways of communicating with each other, especially in the realm of consumer relations. Not every positive experience needs five stars. Sometimes it can be as simple as looking someone in the eye and saying, “Thank you. I appreciate your help.” Not every disappointment requires a survey. Sometimes, a respectful conversation can resolve a misunderstanding more effectively than an online rating ever could.

For generations, businesses survived because customers “reviewed” by returning, recommending them to friends, writing letters, making phone calls, or speaking directly with managers when something went exceptionally well (or poorly). Today, we’ve outsourced much of that feedback to automated systems that ask us to score nearly every interaction. In the process, we may have lost a little of the human connection those conversations once created.

And service professionals feel it too. Many employees know they are being measured constantly. Customers are asked to evaluate them. Managers are tracking metrics. Companies are analyzing scores. It can create pressure to perform for the review rather than simply focus on serving the customer well.

Meanwhile, customers may feel pressured to become critics when all they wanted was a meal, a haircut, or help solving a problem. That’s a lot of evaluating and not much relating.

What if we brought a little more humanity back into the equation? What if customers focused on being clear, respectful, and appreciative? What if service providers focused on being attentive, accountable, and helpful? What if both sides extended a little grace when things weren’t perfect?

Most consumers and service providers don’t expect perfection from the other side. They want to feel heard. They want to feel respected. They want to feel as though they matter. Those needs existed long before surveys, ratings, and review requests. So, let’s stop treating interactions like tests and start treating each other like human beings. The reviews remain optional, but respect should not. 

Where manners meet real life, 

Margar-etiquette