Ask Margar-etiquette about Tipping

Dear Margar-etiquette,

Do I have to tip everywhere I go for all financial transactions? It seems like I’m asked for a tip even when there’s no service provided. What’s the etiquette rule these days on where and how much to tip?

Tipped Out

Dear Tipped Out,

You’re not alone in feeling a little overwhelmed by “tip fatigue.” What used to be a simple act of gratitude has turned into a screen prompt on nearly every transaction—from coffee counters to car washes to takeout orders. The custom of tipping is meant to acknowledge service, but as tipping opportunities have expanded, it’s no wonder people are confused about when it’s expected versus optional.

Let’s sort it out.

1. Traditional tipping still stands.
In full-service restaurants, where servers rely on tips as part of their income, gratuity remains essential. The standard is still 15–20% before tax, depending on the quality of service. The same applies to hairstylists, nail technicians, those making personal deliveries, and others who provide personal services.

2. Counter service and takeout are gray areas.
If you’re simply picking up an order or ordering at a counter, a small tip—say 10% or a dollar or two—is a kind gesture, not an obligation. However, if someone goes above and beyond (such as customizing an order, packaging it carefully, or assisting with a large group), tipping more generously is appropriate.

3. The tip screen isn’t the boss of you.
Those pre-set digital tip prompts can feel awkward, but etiquette allows you to use your judgment. If no real service was provided, it’s fine to select “no tip” without guilt. Tipping should be a choice of appreciation, not a response to social pressure.

4. Service workers remember kindness.
When in doubt, remember that a modest tip can make a meaningful difference to someone whose day revolves around customer service. If your budget allows, a little extra gratitude never goes unnoticed—especially in industries where wages are low or tips are shared.

In short: tip thoughtfully, not automatically. Etiquette has always been about consideration, not conformity. The goal is to reward good service, not to feel coerced by a touchscreen. A warm thank-you, eye contact, and a sincere word of appreciation can be just as valuable as a few extra dollars—especially when given with genuine kindness.

With great appreciation,

Margar-etiquette