Big Chipmunk in the Sky

We arrived after dark, guided in from the highway by a yellow beacon displaying a chipmunk in the sky. I let the Girly Girls and The Wife out at the front door while I tried to find a place to park. I’d never seen so many cars in a parking lot at 9 p.m. for any retail establishment. I knew this was gonna be a unique experience.

I had no idea how right I was.

When the ginormous front doors parted in front of me, there were two things I had never encountered. First, a blast of cold air came from inside that actually made my eyes water, which they needed because the lights overhead were brighter than the sun and dried my eyes out as I passed the four rows of checkout lines.

Second, I walked past a 30-foot-long counter that had every possible type of beef jerky displayed. I don’t even like beef jerky, but the display and aroma were simply irresistible.

I bought a mixed bag full.

Right across from the jerky was a sign proudly declaring the best sweets in Texas. Oh, I love sweets! But my ever-expanding waistline said, “No,” so I resisted…for about a minute.

I bought an extra-large bag.

When I was deciding what sweets (that I didn’t really need) to gobble down, a cowbell rang. A big announcement echoed throughout the store. “Fresh hot brisket is now available. Y’all come git it while it’s hot!” Even though it was 10 p.m. good hot brisket was now something I really did want.

I turned and looked but still couldn’t find it anywhere. Finally, following the wonderful mouthwatering aroma toward the middle of the store, I found that not one just brisket had come out, but six! Half a dozen well-trained brisket choppers were chopping their little hearts out, making sandwiches just for me and The Wife. Their skill with knives reminded me of those old Ginsu commercials. There was brisket, sausage, pulled pork, beef, and even BBQ turkey!

I was so excited about the “healthy” BBQ turkey that I got two of them.

It had been 20 minutes since I entered the store, and I still had not seen The Wife or the Girly Girls, so I ventured to what I thought was the middle of the store looking for them but found the restrooms instead. They even had lockers outside where you could store your goods, take the key, and retrieve everything after you came out.

And let me say this for the record.

The restrooms were the cleanest I had ever seen. I guess I have lived a sheltered life, but I have never been in the bathroom of a store (large or small) that looked like this. Everything was in a stall, and each stall had a locking door that actually worked, and a light above it showing either red or green. Behind the door there were soap and hand sanitizer dispensers everywhere. Stopping at the giant chipmunk’s place was worth the trip just for the bathroom. And, of course, the brisket, the jerky, and the Texas candy. 

With food and sweets in the middle and every trinket you could possibly imagine on either side, I literally thought somebody had built heaven on the side of the road next to the interstate. Still, looking back on my first trip inside this place, I found only one downside.

The checkout lines to get out were really long. As a matter of fact, it took so long I turned around and went back and shopped just a little bit more. Perhaps it was all by design. I don’t know. Perhaps it wasn’t a downside after all. After all, can you have too many gummy sharks?

I didn’t think so.

After I finally got through paying for everything, I met The Wife and the Girly Girls at the front door. I stepped outside and looked to my left. Directly across the parking lot was a gas station the size of a football field. Which was good because our car was about on empty. Then I looked to my right. On the other side of the road was a car wash the size of two football fields. The car wash really tempting, and I wanted to go, but it had been pouring down rain for the last hour. The Wife convinced me the car really didn’t need to be washed.

And above it all was the yellow circle with the chipmunk shining down from above. It was my first trip inside Buc-ee’s.

Will we ever go back and visit that giant chipmunk on the yellow sign while we’re traveling?

You can bet all your acorns we will. We might even make a special trip when we’re not traveling for a soccer tournament – just to replenish our beef jerky stock. That stuff will last almost a year, but not around our house. We’ll be lucky if we don’t run out in a couple of weeks.