Questions, Questions, Questions? No Problem!

William Arthur Ward said, “Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.”

If you want to learn something new, then ask questions, right? 

However, some questions may not have clear answers. How does one answer these questions?

*If your plan is to have no plan, do you have a plan?

*What do you say when someone says you’re in denial, but you’re not?

*Do pigs pull hamstrings?

*If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?

*If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn’t they call you first?

*If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar, do you believe him?

*How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?

*If the #2 pencil is the most popular pencil, why is it still #2?

*How do they get deer to cross the road at those yellow warning signs?

*How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?

*If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

*Have ex-cowboys become de-ranged?

*Have ex-drycleaners become de-pressed?

*If you decide you’re indecisive, which are you?

*If you tell someone they’re being judgmental, are you being judgmental?

*How did the headless horseman know where he was going?

*What is a male ladybug called?

*Why do they call them goose bumps?  Do geese get people bumps?

*What is the opposite of opposite?

*If you try to fail and succeed, did you succeed or fail?

*Why do people never say “it’s only a game” when they’re winning?

*Why do hotdogs come in packs of eight when buns come in packs of ten?

*Why is a person who handles your money called a “broker?”

*How can you hear yourself think?

These thought-provoking questions provoked some questions of my own.  For instance: 

*Why do big discount stores install so many check-out registers, but only have a few registers open at any given time?

*Why does the shortest line always take the longest time?  

*Why do I choose to get in line behind the customer who stalls the line?

*Why do people get noses and tongues pierced? And eyebrows and navels?

*Why do people stop at green lights and fly through yield signs? 

*When will people learn how to use roundabouts?

*When will people learn to drive, period?!

*Why do younger people say “no problem” when you say “thank you?” 

On many fronts, “no problem” is the trendy new “You’re welcome,” especially in the marketplace. Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but is it possible that my giving them business may have been a problem? Does “no problem” mean the cashier was somehow inconvenienced by giving me customer service?  Does “no problem” grate on anyone else’s nerves?

Back in 2015, author and professor Tom Nichols tweeted, after one of these “no problem” encounters, “Dear every cashier in America, the proper response to ‘thank you’ is ‘you’re welcome,’ not ‘no problem.’ And you’re supposed to thank me” for doing business with your establishment.”

The tweet brought a variety of responses, but one pointed out a generational issue: “Actually, the ‘thank you/no problem’ issue is simply a linguistics misunderstanding. Older people tend to say ‘you’re welcome.’ Younger people tend to say ‘no problem.’ This is because for older people the act of helping someone is seen as a task not expected of them, but is them doing something extra, so it’s them saying, ‘I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it.’”

I guess I’m getting old. I still like the old fashion “You’re welcome!” 

Want to know life’s most important question? No problem. In Acts 16, an earthquake opened the doors of the Philippian jail imprisoning missionaries Paul and Silas, and other prisoners, also. The jailer, totally responsible for these prisoners, was about to take his life when Paul spoke up and assured him all prisoners were still present and accounted for.

This surprising reality shocked him and he asked, “What must I do to be saved (receive God’s salvation)?” (Acts 16:30).

The reply? “Believe (place your faith in) the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31). 

The jailer’s inquiry is life’s most critical question, and this question has a clear answer. Jesus!

(David L. Chancey lives in Fayetteville, Georgia, and serves as transitional pastor at Griffin Church, Griffin, Georgia. View more of his writings, including his books, at www.davidlchancey.com).