Gerald the Tap-Dancing Turnip

After last week nearly found me among the newly departed, I thought it would be good to write a silly little story. And what could be sillier than a tap-dancing turnip named Gerald? And no, I wasn’t on any medication when Gerald tap-danced into existence. I was simply folding laundry. So, let’s join Gerald and company down on the farm.

Just before daybreak, Farmer Jim took his basket and started collecting his crops, like he did every morning. He worked his way down the rows, pulling up the turnips one by one. But Farmer Jim accidentally pulled up one turnip too soon.

It was too young.

It was too small.

Farmer Jim tossed it aside and continued pulling down the row.

But the little turnip didn’t mind being thrown away. He had bigger ideas than ending up on the dinner table that night. His name was Gerald. And Gerald knew exactly what he wanted to do.

He wanted to tap dance!

But there was one problem. Gerald didn’t have any tapping shoes. Looking around, he found two large acorns that had fallen during the night’s storm. He sat down and carved and carved and carved. He worked all day until they fit just right. He painted them black and white, and just like that, he had shoes!

Gerald looked at his new tapping shoes and smiled. They were perfect. He polished them until they shined. Then he took a bath and washed away all the dirt from being in the ground.

Now Gerald and his shoes were ready. He was going to tap his way down whatever path came next.

Tap, tap, tap went Gerald down the dirt path that meandered through the large farm. He continued tapping until he found his best friend, Daisy, a cow with pink spots. (A cow with pink spots? Very believable when you’re reading a story about a tap-dancing turnip named Gerald.) “I made tapping shoes!” Gerald said. “Now all I need is someone to watch me tap dance.”

Daisy looked up, paused her grass eating for a moment, “Go ask Pig.”

With that bit of advice, Gerald tap-tap-tapped over to Pig who was about to enjoy his first mud bath of the day.

“Would you like to watch me tap dance?” Gerald asked.

Pig grunted, “No. I don’t have time. I must do my morning wallowing in the mud.”

So, the little turnip tap-tap-tapped happily back over to Daisy the cow.

“What did Pig say?” 

Gerald replied, “Pig said he was too busy wallowing in the mud to watch.”

The cow started to chew another mouthful of grass. “Well, go ask the chickens.”

Tap-tap-tap over to the chickens Gerald went. “Would you like to watch me tap dance?”

“No,” answered the chickens. “We don’t have time – we have to peck the ground for worms.”

With this answer, Gerald tap-tap-tapped happily back over to his best friend Daisy.

“What did the chickens say?” asked the pink-spotted cow.

“They said they were too busy pecking the ground for worms to watch.”

The big cow took a long breath, then answered, “Well, go ask the goats.”

Gerald then tap-tap-tapped over to a pen of goats, “Would you like to watch me tap dance?”

The goats hopped around and started to climb the many large items Farmer Jim had placed in their pen. “No,” they said. “We don’t have time. We have to climb.”

With yet another rejection, Gerald tap-tap-tapped happily back over to the cow.

“What did the goats say?” asked Daisy.

“The goats said they were too busy climbing to watch,” the little turnip replied.

“Well, go ask Donkey.”

With that, Gerald tap-tap-tapped over to the gray donkey. “Donkey, would you like to watch me tap dance?” Gerald asked.

The long ears of the donkey flapped side-to-side as he shook his head with his answer, “No. I have to help plow the fields.”

So, Gerald tap-tap-tapped happily back to his friend Daisy who was still eating grass. She looked up and blinked her long eyelashes as she watched the tap-dancing turnip approach. “Well, what did Donkey say?”

“He said he was too busy plowing the fields.”

“Well, go ask the ducks.”

With that advice, Gerald decided to try one more time and tap-tap-tapped over to a bunch of ducks on the shore of the large lake. “Would you like to watch me tap dance?” Gerald asked of the ducks.

“No,” said the ducks. “We don’t have time. We have to swim in the pond.” 

And with that the ducks jumped into the water, raised up their tail feathers, and swam away.

Gerald, the tap-dancing turnip, stood beside the pond and watched the ducks go. This time, Gerald didn’t tap-dance back to Daisy the pink-spotted cow.

He slowly walked.

Daisy saw him coming down the path and asked, “What did the ducks say?”

Gerald looked down at his tapping shoes and sighed, “They said they were too busy swimming in the pond.”

Daisy waited for a moment and then asked, “What’s wrong, Gerald?”

“No one wants to watch me tap dance. And that’s all I want to do.”

The pink-spotted cow looked at his friend and smiled, “Follow me.”

Still looking down at his tap shoes, Gerald slowly followed Daisy down the path and across the farm without saying another word. They stopped in front of the barn. Suddenly, Daisy pushed open the barn doors. Gerald’s eyes grew wide.

Pig was there.

The chickens were there.

The goats were there.

Donkey was there.

And all the ducks were there.

Everyone was there waiting for Gerald. And at the back of the barn stood a little stage beneath a spotlight. The little turnip who was pulled too soon, who was too small and who was thrown away walked forward and stepped up onto the little stage.

The spotlight came on, and Gerald began to tap. Tap-tap-tap. Clickety-clack. Tap-tap-TAP! Gerald danced faster and faster. Then he spun, leaped high into the air, and then tapped with everything he had. And this time, everyone was watching.

Then something wonderful happened.

Pig started tapping. The chickens started tapping. Goat started tapping. Donkey started tapping. Even the ducks started tapping. And right in the middle of it all was Gerald’s best friend Daisy, the pink-spotted cow wearing a little pink tutu, spinning on her back hooves and tap dancing.

Gerald had finally found an audience.

But even better –

He had found a whole barn full of dancing friends.