I have only lied once in my entire life. I took a candy bar from the local grocery without paying for it. When caught, I told my parents I’d paid for it, but they knew better.
Dad went with me back to the store where I returned the stolen candy bar, apologized to the store manager, and pleaded with him not to throw me in kid jail. I was only 7 at the time, and I’ve walked the straight and narrow ever since.
But by the time you read this, some will say I’ve lied for the second time. (This second lie will depend on your perspective.)
You see, Little One and Sweet Caroline are walking into the room to meet Santa! He came to visit and eat a pancake breakfast held at their school.
No, Mom isn’t here — she’s at work. No, The Wife isn’t here either — she’s at a work conference in Chicago enjoying all that warm weather. It’s just the girls, Santa, me, and about 500 other kids lining the hallways eagerly waiting their turns during Pancakes with Santa — an annual event at their school.
When they meet the big man, the most important question of their young lives will be hanging in the air, “Have you been naughty or nice this year?” I can answer that question for our granddaughters; they certainly are on the Nice List. Not so for some of the other folks in my life. I believe a select few should be on Santa’s permanent Naughty List.
At the top of the Naughty List is the meanest kid who ever lived on Flamingo Street, Bradley McAlister aka Down the Street Bully Brad. Not only did he find the time to beat me up at least once a week, he bullied every kid living on Flamingo. Bully Brad bullied everyone … everyone except my best friend who happened to live right across the street from us.
Bubba Hanks. Bubba, aka Hank the Tank, was by far the largest kid who ever lived on Flamingo, and he didn’t like bullies. Guess he and Santa had that in common.
During one of my first fights with Bully Brad, he knocked me down and stood over me laughing saying, “Santa’s ain’t real, you big baby.” I was only 6 years old, but I never forgot that day. That incident surely earned Bully Brad the top spot on Santa’s permanent Naughty List.
During my second week of seventh grade, Mike Mitchel and I were both elected to be members of the Mt. Olive’s Elementary School Safety Patrol. The Safety Patrol was a handful of students who policed crosswalks and sidewalks in the mornings and afternoons keeping kids safe.
Only things protecting them from a horrible accident with motor vehicles were our white sashes, our silver badges, and a quick hand raised up by one of us followed by a stern, “Stop!”
Walking out proudly my first day on the job, I took my position at the bus loop’s main crosswalk. Passing me on his way to the crosswalk, Mean Mike said, “Don’t need to raise a hand, Crater Face. That face will stop a bus.”
Always one ready with a disparaging comment, he earned his nickname years earlier … but he was right. A horrible case of acne had visited my face earlier that year and had decided to stay. It took almost five years for it to finally clear, but his cruel comment left scars deeper than the acne ever did and certainly earned him a spot on Santa’s permanent Naughty List.
Lastly the latest person surely to be added to Santa’s permanent Naughty List could possibly be one of the youngest. The day before Pancakes with Santa, a boy in Little One’s Kindergarten class said the unsayable to her, “There’s no such thing as Santa Claus. He’s not real.”
On the way home from Pancakes with Santa, our granddaughters were still bubbling with excitement from the morning of pancakes, bounce houses, giant slides, goofy golf, face painting, and all the many vendors lining the hallways of their school. And, of course, meeting the big man himself.
Arriving back home, I helped Little One out of the car, and she gave me a huge hug of thanks. Then asked, “Big Papa, is Santa real?”
I wonder … could that boy in her class be the grandson of Down the Street Bully Brad?
[Rick Ryckeley has been writing stories since 2001. To read more of Rick’s stories, visit his blog: storiesbyrick.wordpress.com.]
