I went to my local supermarket proudly wearing my “Make America Great Again” camo hat.
The lines were long. I spotted the “12 items or less” lane, so I counted the 10 items in my cart and scooted over to the checkout.
I could see the woman ahead of me looking at my hat visibly getting flummoxed, making sucking sounds. Did she think I was Omar Mateen’s father, who sat behind Hillary while she was talking about how she was going to stop lone-wolf terroristic attacks?
As the customer was collecting her receipt, she whispered something to the cashier that I couldn’t hear.
I pushed my cart forward getting ready to put my items on the belt. Handed the cashier my coupons; she playing the role of coupon monitor reminded me that one was out of date by one day. I told her how impressed I was by her calendaric acumen. She smiled radiantly with pride.
Then, the cashier, looking at my hat and with self-anointed disdain and importance, said, “The lady in front of you thinks you have more than 12 items in your basket; you will have to go to the other lane.”
Smiling, I said, “How special. This lady probably took Common Core Math and has difficulty counting to 10.”
The “lady” overheard me and scurried off in a huff, bumping into other customers like a Charlie Chaplin silent comedy character.
You can’t make this stuff up.
“What difference — at this point, what difference does it make?”
Michael Velsmid
Peachtree City, Ga.
